


Random Acts of Domestic Hotness

by rocketchick (wankernumber9)



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-06 07:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14051784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wankernumber9/pseuds/rocketchick
Summary: Short Otalia one-shots, reposted from my personal site.





	1. Early Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tiny bit of cuteness meant to buffer against the post-engagement angst.

In the dead of night, the farmhouse was an entirely different place. Dark shadows gathered in the corners, insulating the warmth of the tenants within. Olivia tugged her robe more securely around her shoulders and padded around the main floor of her unlikely home.

The past few weeks had been far too eventful. The usual daily drama of life and death and psychosis in Springfield had been even bumpier than usual. Then again, Olivia was still standing, her heart was still beating, and her family was still intact, somehow.

Her family. In her home, where even the shadows embraced her and made her feel safe.

She stopped before the front window when she heard the thump of slippered feet coming down the stairs.

"I heard a noise," Natalia said through a yawn as she shuffled closer to Olivia's silhouette in the window.

"Emma had a bad dream," Olivia replied. "Sorry for waking you."

"'Sokay," Natalia slurred. Her eyes were already sliding shut again, and she teetered on her feet. "But you need to rest."

"I will. I was just watching the snow."

"Oh. It's snowing again." Natalia scooted a bit closer, propping her chin against the other woman's shoulder.

Olivia's breath caught with the press of warmth against her side. The casual contact made her tremble, even as she leaned into it, turning her head until she could see Natalia's face in her periphery. She had a sweet look of sleepy contentment as she snuggled into the soft folds of Olivia's robe.

"I've always loved snow," Natalia said. "It's so quiet."

"I prefer rain. Thunderstorms." She looked at Natalia sharply when the other woman chuckled. "What?"

"You would. Nothing subtle for Olivia Spencer," Natalia said, smiling when Olivia grumbled but didn't disagree. "What's the one that's 'little cat feet?'"

"I think that's fog," Olivia said.

"Fog. Right. I like fog, too." Natalia inhaled deeply, trying to rouse herself just a bit. "Maybe we should get a cat," she said, speculative.

With a chuckle, Olivia turned, dislodging from the mutual snuggle. "You are _so_ half asleep. You don't even remember that you're allergic to cats." She reached up and gave Natalia's arms a friendly chafe.

"Don't they make hypoallergenic kinds?" Natalia asked with a pout. "Emma should totally have a pet."

It was exactly the kind of long term plan Olivia had avoided making for the past year. At any moment her borrowed heart could fail. At any moment she and Emma could be moving, again. At any moment she could lose this tranquility, this peace. At any moment the farmhouse and the wonderful, excruciating tenderness within it could fly apart and leave her bereft.

"Ah, you have that look again," Natalia murmured. "You're getting ready to run away."

In point of fact, Olivia's legs were tensed to the point of pain. Beyond Natalia she could see the stairs and the sweet salvation of her room.

"And then you'll say something about how maybe you should move out, and how it would be 'better' for Emma if you left." She canted her head to one side. "I know this argument by heart, so let's skip to the end. You and Emma belong here."

"With you," Olivia said, her voice strained.

"Well, it is my house," Natalia said wryly. "Yes. With me." Rather than give Olivia any time to think of an objection, she simply grabbed Olivia's elbow and turned her toward the couch. "Come on. Let's sit and watch the snow."

Before Olivia even knew what was happening, she was seated on the couch with Natalia's legs thrown casually across her own. Natalia fussed with a blanket, tucking it around them snugly before relaxing against Olivia's shoulder with a contented smile. Helpless to resist, Olivia wrapped her arms around her friend, pulling her closer.

Unbothered by Olivia's silence, or by the faint tension in the arms around her, Natalia sighed happily as the snow continued to fall. "We should make snow angels with Emma tomorrow."

Olivia exhaled a helpless noise that might have been a whimper. "You know, when you and I talk, I'm not even sure we're having the same conversation."

"I think we're talking about the same thing, Olivia." She felt the shift, felt Olivia's sharp eyes looking down at her own. "Just... watch the snow with me? Please?"

Long minutes later, they were still huddled together in the quiet night, tallying the tumbling sparkles beyond their window.

"See, it takes some patience, but eventually it changes everything," Natalia whispered.

"I'm not good with being patient."

"I never noticed that about you," Natalia said, with just a hint of sarcasm. "But if a thunderstorm tore through here, it would just knock things over and flood the barn and make a huge mess. This is a lot better. Patience pays off. Everything is beautiful in the end, instead of broken and messy."

"Torturing the weather metaphor a bit, aren't you?"

"Maybe. But that's what happens when you live with a force of nature."

Olivia sighed. "Fine. I'll just sit here and wait, then."

"It'll be worth it." Natalia levered herself upward to plant a kiss on her friend's cheek, then settled back into Olivia's embrace to watch the world change before them.


	2. Star Struck One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small, speculative scene set a couple weeks after the wedding and Everything Else. The title is from a song by the Smoking Popes.

"Would you like to go to dinner?"

Natalia spared a brief glance from her laptop. "Can't the kitchen bring something up?" If she'd looked longer, she would have noticed Olivia was fidgeting. If she'd looked longer, she would have found it quite endearing. She quickly returned her eyes to her email.

"I was thinking about going out," Olivia was saying.

"Oh, okay. Get me one of whatever you're getting."

"I was thinking about going out. With you."

Finally, it sunk in, derailing Natalia in the middle of a pithy, strongly-worded email to a lackadaisical vendor. She looked up at Olivia, taking in the nervous wandering at her fingertips, and her self-conscious posture. "Like, on a date?" she asked.

She might have squeaked, just a little.

"Forget it," Olivia muttered. She spun and ducked out of the office.

Natalia said a quick prayer and made an even quicker decision. "I'd love to," she called after Olivia, smiling when her friend's head popped back into the doorway.

"Really?"

"Really."

Olivia looked surprised, and maybe just the slightest bit smug. "Okay. Ten minutes?"

"Sure."

After Olivia left again, Natalia flew through her remaining tasks, almost vibrating with nervous anticipation.

All in all, that vendor got off easy.

* * *

"People are going to notice, you know. They're gonna talk," Olivia said when she returned precisely nine and a half minutes later. She was sure the small town rumor mill had been working overtime since the Wedding That Wasn't, and she knew that was going to bother them both more than it should.

"I know," Natalia said. She stood, closed her laptop, then smoothed out the lines of her suit in tiny, anxious motions. "I'm trying really hard not to think about that part. I might need to borrow some of your attitude to get through it."

Olivia snorted. "Well, I've got plenty to spare. All of it bad."

Natalia's brain helpfully conjured recollections of her friend at her most confident, her most brazen, her most defiant. And usually it was on Natalia's own behalf. "Not all of it," she said, letting a slow smile split her face.

Olivia filed that notion - and that smile - away for later contemplation, and grabbed Natalia's coat from its hook. After a moment's debate, she held it up by the collar to allow Natalia to slip into it.

It was an unusually solicitous gesture. Natalia eyed her in confusion, and for long seconds they had a silent conversation carried on mostly with their eyebrows.

Natalia's were furrowed. _What's this all about?_

Olivia's eyebrow quirked in her wry, trademark way. _Hell if I know. Chivalry, or something._

_It's... different_ , said the hesitant expression on Natalia's face, even as she stepped closer and turned to lift her arm into a sleeve.

Olivia only rolled her eyes and jiggled the garment a bit. _Get over it and put on the damned coat already._

A couple minutes later they were bundled up and shuffling into the elevator. Olivia turned and lifted her hand to touch the bright blue scarf tucked neatly around Natalia's neck. "This color looks good on you," she said softly.

The gentle sweetness of that voice hit Natalia right in the gut, and all of a sudden the fledgling "thing" between them wasn't awkward or weird or confusing. It was _real_ , and it took her breath away. "Thank you," she whispered, charmed when Olivia's gaze darted up to meet her own, and they shared a shy smile.

She couldn't stop staring at the sparkle in Olivia's eyes, the way her hair fell across her forehead, her lips... God. She felt a sudden wash of regret that she'd ever thought she could grow out of this feeling, that she ever thought she could feel a fraction of it for Frank. Olivia was intoxicating.

Natalia found herself leaning closer, found her hands hovering and seeking... something.

The elevator discharged an officious ding, breaking the moment. When the doors slid open, the normal bustle of the hotel lobby poured in around them, thick with travelers arriving for a weekend conference, none of whom had time for the best friends currently making eyes at each other in the elevator.

Olivia smiled and cocked her head toward the door, indicating the other woman could go ahead.

Instead, Natalia surprised them both by grabbing Olivia's hand, firmly intertwining their fingers, and tugging her friend along so that they could walk out side by side.

The staff probably noticed. They probably pointed and gossiped and tittered. It didn't matter.

The crowd parted before them as they swept through the lobby and into the night, together.


	3. Something Blue, Something Borrowed, Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A variation of the post-wedding fallout, after Olivia's declaration in the gazebo.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this."

Natalia had turned, handed Olivia her bouquet, and walked away so quickly she was halfway back down the aisle before Frank managed to even muster a reaction.

"Natalia, wait!" he called. 

Her pace only quickened. She grabbed her coat from the back pew and burst out of the church into the falling snow. "I'm sorry," she said over her shoulder, as the door shut behind her.

Olivia blinked, mirroring Frank's own expression of slackjawed shock. In her peripheral vision, Doris was wiggling her fingers, trying to get her attention. She looked up to see the mayor mouth the word "Go" with obvious intent, and it snapped her out of her stupor. 

She stepped across the altar and smacked the bouquets into Frank's chest. "I'll talk to her," she declared, heading down the aisle and ignoring Frank's protest.

"Mommy, what happened?" Emma asked.

Olivia stopped and knelt in front of her daughter. "I don't know, baby. I'm gonna go check on Natalia." She looked over Emma's shoulder at Rafe. "Look after her?"

He nodded, and gave her an encouraging smile. She grabbed her coat and ran out of the church in search of her friend.

* * *

Even though Springfield was a small town, and a woman trundling through the snow in a wedding gown should have been relatively conspicuous, Natalia evaded the search for several hours.

By the time it was dark, Olivia was almost frantic. Finally Frank had called her cell and mentioned putting out an APB. She stalled him, saying she still had one last place to look. 

When she spotted the shadowy form huddled in the gazebo, she almost fell over in relief.

Olivia jogged across the street and bounded up the steps, fighting the urge to immediately take Natalia into her arms.

"Hey," she murmured.

Natalia looked over her shoulder, shivering and miserable, but remained silent.

"Okay, I won't bother you. I'm just glad you're safe." Olivia nodded, then turned back to the steps, ready to disappear back into the snowy evening.

"Please don't go."

Olivia froze and inhaled a sharp breath at the sadness she heard in her friend's voice. She paced across the gazebo and stood next to Natalia, then stared into the snow so hard that after a few minutes she couldn't tell if it was falling or she was flying up into the night.

"I've ruined everything," Natalia whispered.

"No, you haven't."

"I hurt Frank. I hurt you."

"We'll both be okay, as long as you're happy."

Finally, in light of the day's revelations, Natalia understood _exactly_ what her friend had meant by that all along. "God, Olivia. I can't believe... all the things you did? For me?"

Olivia pursed her lips and looked away.

"No one has ever..." Natalia took a breath, fighting tears. "No one has ever loved me like that."

Immediately, Olivia looked back at her, eyes wide with anguish. "I have never loved anyone the way I love you," she said. 

It sounded like a vow, and Natalia believed it. She was quite certain no one had ever seen Olivia Spencer torn open like she was at that moment. The raw, naked emotion pulled at her. She surged forward, capturing Olivia's face in her hands, and kissed her, hard.

Immediately, Olivia's arms rose to wrap around Natalia's waist, pulling her closer as she responded to the desperate, consuming touch. In a minute they were tugging at each other in equal parts longing, fear, and frustration. She felt Natalia's fingers fist in the folds of her coat.

When they broke apart, they panted plumes of hot breath that billowed and fogged between them. Natalia's eyes were screwed shut as she pressed her forehead to Olivia's. "I don't understand this... I don't know..."

"Shh, it's okay. We'll figure it out," Olivia interjected. "I promise."

Natalia nodded a bit. "Where are Rafe and Emma?"

"Home. Safe. They're fine. I can take you..."

"I don't think I can go back there right now."

"Then you don't have to. You can stay at the Beacon." She watched Natalia's face fall at the oblique reminder of the reserved honeymoon suite. "Or anywhere else," she added quickly. "Wanna leave town? Just tell me where you want to go."

"I don't know. Everything hurts," Natalia said. She crumpled, trying not to cry.

Olivia eyed her, sensing she was close to falling apart completely. Her instincts told her to protect her friend, but she knew her instincts had led her woefully off-course in recent weeks. "I'll take care of it," she said, with certainty she did not feel. "Come on."

* * *

She wasn't sure if she'd blacked out or fallen asleep or what, but sometime later Natalia found herself tucked under a comforter in Olivia's own bed at the Beacon - decidedly _not_ in the honeymoon suite. Inhaling the scent of clean sheets, she slowly uncurled from her nearly fetal posture. She felt like she'd been hit by a truck.

Olivia's voice drifted in from the other room. "... Double fries, and a chocolate shake," she said into her cell phone as she wandered into the bedroom. She smiled when she saw Natalia was awake. "Make that two shakes," she corrected. She listened to the confirmation of her order, then nodded and flipped her phone shut. She sat on the edge of the bed and cast Natalia a shy, tender smile. "Hi."

"I fell asleep?"

"Yeah. I think you were kind of in shock. I hope this is okay."

Right then, Natalia noticed she was dressed in loose sweats, and the blinding white pleats of her dress were nowhere to be seen. She had no idea how that had occurred, but she couldn't be bothered to care. "It's perfect," she breathed.

Olivia beamed in relief. "Good. I called Rafe and Emma to let them know where we are, and I've ordered a pile of room service. I'm guessing you haven't eaten much the past couple days."

Natalia didn't argue. She hadn't been able to stomach more than a cup of coffee. "I should call Frank, or Buzz..." she began, shifting to sit upright.

"I already did. They told me to tell you they're glad you're all right."

"Oh," Natalia exhaled. She sank back into the pillows, realizing she felt completely safe for the first time in a long time. "Thank you for taking care of me," she whispered.

"Anytime," Olivia replied, with a smile that acknowledged the turnabout in their positions.

Natalia snaked out a hand from under the covers to latch on to Olivia's, sighing when the other woman immediately wound their fingers together. "I've made such a mess of things," she said.

"We all did," Olivia said with a shrug. "It'll be okay."

Natalia felt tears swimming in her eyes again, and she tried to blink them away. "I tried so hard not to feel..." Her voice failed and she began again. "I tried so hard to convince myself that we were just friends."

"We _are_ friends," Olivia said. She shifted closer to stroke Natalia's hair with her free hand.

"But I saw it. I saw how you felt." She sniffled and shook her head. "And I was so afraid."

Olivia bent, pressing her lips against Natalia's forehead in a gentle, chaste caress. When she pulled away, she hovered there, leaning over the best friend she'd ever had, staring deep into soft dark eyes. A lock of hair tumbled across her face, obscuring her view only for a moment before Natalia reached up to brush it away, then left her hand curled around Olivia's neck as they gravitated toward each other.

There was a sharp knock at the door. "Room service, Ms. Spencer!" came the cheery announcement from the hallway beyond. Olivia glared daggers at the door, then looked back down at Natalia.

"If you fire her, I'll just have to apologize and re-hire her in the morning," Natalia whispered. "Be nice."

With a wry snort, Olivia pushed herself off the bed to answer the door. A minute later three hotel staffers filed in and carefully arranged heaping trays of food. One of them dipped her head in Natalia's direction before scurrying off. "Ms. Rivera, we hope you feel better soon," she said, then dodged the annoyed look from Olivia and fled the room.

"How much food did you order?" Natalia asked, a bit alarmed even as her stomach growled in anticipation.

"Two of everything?" Olivia shrugged. "I wasn't sure what you'd want." She grabbed an assortment and delivered a tray back to the bed.

"You'd better be eating with me," Natalia said pointedly.

"Oh yeah. I'm starving... I haven't eaten much lately, either." She pointed a steaming mug of hot chocolate at Natalia in a threatening manner. "And if you even think about apologizing for that, you're going straight to bed with no dessert."

The reflexive regret died unspoken on Natalia's lips. Instead she grinned and reached for a french fry. "Fair enough."

"Good." Olivia slid onto the other side of the bed with her own tray of goodies, and grabbed the TV remote. "Now, what this day really needs is a trashy movie or two."

As they ate and relaxed, the clamor of fearful despondence in Natalia's head began to subside, eased by the constance and comfort of her best friend. She _knew_ this woman, even if the tide of emotion between them now was so new and heavy and life-altering. She knew Olivia's humor, knew her vulnerabilities, and now she knew more than ever the depth of her honor and the strength of her character. She stared at Olivia's profile until the other woman felt the weight of her scrutiny.

"What? Do I have ketchup on my face?" Olivia asked, grabbing a napkin and dabbing it at her lips.

Natalia dropped her gaze and smiled. "No."

"Oh. Are you okay?"

"You know what? I really am," Natalia replied. Her brow furrowed in a thoughtful frown. "This could have been the worst day of my life, but instead I'm here with you. That means I'm okay."

Olivia grinned and returned her attention to her fries.

As wedding nights went, Natalia supposed it didn't rate high on the scale of carnality or passion. But long after the dishes had been cleared, they still sat together, tentatively settling back into each other's company. Later, Natalia wouldn't remember the terrible movies they'd watched, or the mindless chatter they'd shared in the long hours of the night. Instead, she remembered a moment of being overcome with remorse so intense it left her shaking.

So, so slowly, Olivia had scooted closer to her, offering warmth and support. Eventually Natalia burrowed against her friend's side, burying her face in Olivia's neck with a ragged sigh. "I love you," she whispered against Olivia's skin, her voice desperate and raw.

"I love you, too," Olivia replied.

She said it again and again, reverent and sweet, until it became a prayer to them both.

* * *

As the faint, grayish bars of morning light broke across her eyelids, Natalia noticed that things were a little different than usual.

For starters, she wasn't in her own bed. In place of the usual creaking of her farmhouse was the cycling of climate control systems and the distant pinging of an elevator.

She also happened to be rather firmly wrapped around a soft, warm body that smelled a lot like Olivia Spencer. And with that realization she was suddenly quite awake, as every muscle she had seized in complete panic.

"Good morning," Olivia's voice burred under her ear.

Natalia untucked her head from the alarmingly comfortable spot against her friend's neck and looked down with wide eyes. "Uh. Hi," she said, rather blankly.

Olivia smiled back at her. "Hi."

Her glance darted around the room, taking stock. "So... I didn't get married yesterday."

"No, not so much."

"Right." She relaxed a bit, unconsciously sinking back into their shared warmth. "I wasn't sure how much of that was real."

Olivia shrugged and reached up to tuck a stray lock of dark hair behind her friend's ear. "It was kind of a strange day." She watched the full implications of what they'd done swirl into focus behind Natalia's eyes as the other woman paled. "Hey. Don't lose it now," she commanded. "Natalia. It's gonna be okay."

Natalia couldn't really hear the words over the sudden thundering of her heart in her ears. God, what had she done? Deceived a good man and his family? Lied to her son, to herself? _Fallen in love with a woman?_ She slid off to one side, pulling into herself with misery.

"Natalia!" Olivia said sharply, as she hauled herself up to lean on an elbow, then reached out to cradle her friend's ashen face. "Stop that."

With a shaky breath, Natalia shut her eyes and tried to regain control. "I'm okay," she lied. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Not about any of this," Olivia insisted.

"That's not true. I lied to Frank... I hid from you." Her face crumpled as she thought about the wedding. "I've hurt the Coopers..."

She had a point, but Olivia was desperate to interrupt the litany of self-recrimination. "And we're _all_ going to be okay," she insisted.

"I've been so selfish."

"Which is allowed, once in a while. Especially when it's a matter of being honest." Olivia inched closer, making sure she took up as much of Natalia's view as possible. "Not being honest is what got us into this mess, right?"

Natalia nodded once, slowly. "So you..." She made a face, unsure of how to even ask the question. "We..."

In her hesitation, she was practically begging Olivia to jump in, to be the strong one again, to give voice to the things they'd been hiding from each other for so long. But as she looked at Olivia's tentative, vulnerable expression, she realized it was her turn to do some of the heavy lifting between them.

"You love me," she breathed, finally. She saw Olivia's chest hitch, and managed a smile.

"I really do," Olivia replied, as her eyes swam with tears.

Natalia sighed in relief and relaxed more fully into the covers again. "Okay then," she whispered, with a bright, shy grin. "I love you, too."

She found herself entranced by Olivia's answering smile, so much so that she couldn't help but reach out to stroke the softness of her friend's cheek, then the line of her jaw. For long seconds they gazed into each other, overwhelmed by the sudden freedom to _feel_ everything they'd suppressed for so long.

Of course, given the intensity of the past few days, it didn't take long for the pendulum to turn the other way, as Natalia's emotions crested and swung back toward confusion and despair. Just as before, Olivia saw the second it happened, the second her friend started to panic again.

"Don't," she ordered.

"But..."

Further protests were abandoned as Olivia pressed nearer, hovering a moment before closing the distance between them and kissing her soundly.

This kind of contact was still so new, they both started a bit before melting into the touch. Within moments their hands began to wander, free to seek the softness they'd both been imagining. At some point they shifted; Natalia rolled onto her back and tugged Olivia right along with her.

When they parted, Natalia blinked back at her in a daze. "You can't just kiss me every time you want to make a point, you know," she muttered.

Olivia laughed. "Watch me."

The growl in her voice and the dark glimmer in her eyes settled deep in Natalia's gut, igniting a slow, sweet burn. For the first time she actually noticed their respective positions on the bed, with Olivia stretched out above her, tousled hair cascading down toward Natalia's face, beckoning her to reach up and drag her fingers through the soft lengths.

Right then she wanted to pull her downward, to feel Olivia's weight and warmth crashing against her. Her skin prickled with desire to be explored, to be tasted, to be ravished. Quite out of her own control, Natalia's breath fled her lips in a low groan.

In a heartbeat, the mood between them turned again. Olivia levered herself up and off the bed as if stung, leaving Natalia still sprawled in a state of humming, confused arousal.

"So, I should check my email," Olivia said. Her voice was shaky. "Or something." She ran her hands through her hair and fought the impulse to jump right back into bed.

"Yeah. And I'll just... take a shower," Natalia stammered after a moment.

It was sweet, she decided, for Olivia to grab at the last shreds of self-control in a situation neither of them were really ready for. But still...

"A really _cold_ shower," she added, gratified to see Olivia's shoulders shake with a silent chuckle.

* * *

For a few minutes after Natalia disappeared into the bathroom, Olivia paced the room in small laps, trying to get herself back under control. Eventually she laughed at herself, ordered room service, checked the weather, double-checked the weather, peeked out the window, and laughed at herself some more.

Over a foot of snow had fallen since some point during the wedding ceremony, effectively crippling the whole of Springfield and stranding them at the hotel.

Great.

She sighed and dug out her phone to check in on Emma and Rafe.

"We had cake for breakfast, and we made snow angels!" Emma chirped on the other end.

Olivia squinted. "Cake?"

"Natalia's cake from the wedding. Rafe said she didn't need it anymore. And for lunch he's going to teach me how to make his Super Secret Sandwich."

She covered her eyes and tried not to laugh. "That's great, baby. Try to have a piece of fruit or something, too."

"Okay!" Emma agreed, far too easily. There was a bit of fumbling, then another voice came on the line.

"Hello?" Rafe said.

"Rafe, hey. How are things?"

"We're fine. Listen. Um, could you not tell anybody about the snow angel thing?"

"Your secret's safe with me," Olivia promised with a smirk.

"Is Ma okay?"

"She's fine. I'll have her call when she gets out of the shower."

"Yeah, but is she _okay_?" he asked again, with emphasis. "She hasn't really been right, lately."

Olivia paused, thinking back on the past few weeks. She knew what Rafe meant; Natalia had been withdrawn, remote. How much of that had Olivia herself been responsible for? She faltered for a moment as Natalia wandered in in a bathrobe, scrubbing her hair with a fluffy towel.

"Anyway," Rafe was saying on the other end of the phone. "Let her know I'm thinking about her."

"Sure." She waved to get Natalia's attention, then pointed to the phone and mouthed Rafe's name. Natalia looked stricken, and held up her hands, declining the chance to take the phone.

After extracting promises from Rafe to make Emma eat something other than wedding cake, Olivia disconnected and set the phone aside, giving Natalia a curious look.

"I'm not ready to talk to him," Natalia explained, sadly. "He was so excited about having a father figure, and with Gus' badge... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to explain everything to him right this second. He's just worried about his mom."

Natalia scowled and distracted herself by blotting at her damp hair. "How about work today?" she asked, plainly changing the subject. "Anything interesting in email?"

"Nope. Mild panic 'cause we're snowed in, but we should be able to manage. I went ahead and ordered us some breakfast."

Natalia froze. "We're _what_?"

Olivia crossed to the window and pulled the curtains aside, revealing the blinding white blanketing the buildings below. "The whole town's shut down," she said, peering out into the cold mess. "But we're only at about half capacity, and we have plenty of emergency provisions." She shrugged. "The overtime pay for the staff will be a bitch, but..."

"We're snowed in," Natalia said, blankly.

"The kids are fine, we're fine, and we can stay put to ride this out as long as we need to," Olivia finished. She turned and eyed the other woman with some concern. "Did you need to go somewhere?"

"I guess not," she murmured with a shrug. The notion of being snowed in with Olivia was simultaneously appealing and intimidating as hell.

Olivia stepped away from the window, canting her head to the side. "I was thinking we could use the day to sort of... talk. Figure this out. You know?"

In the face of her obvious hesitance, Natalia realized she wasn't the only one feeling a bit off-balance. She smiled and ventured a bit closer. "There's a 'this?'" she asked.

"I think there is," Olivia said. She reached up and grabbed the lapels of Natalia's robe, tugging gently. "I want there to be."

"Me too," Natalia whispered. She smiled, then smiled more when Olivia smiled back. "I think I'll just... steal some more of your clothes."

"Anything you want," Olivia replied. She released her hold on Natalia's robe and held her gaze until the other woman practically tripped backwards into the neighboring room. "Oh, but don't open the..." she warned, as she came around the corner, too late.

Natalia stood there, staring silently at her wedding gown as it hung in the wardrobe. She reached out with trembling fingers to trail down its pleats while Olivia stood stock still, watching her. "Such a pretty dress," Natalia whispered, before closing the wardrobe door. She turned and sat at the edge of Emma's bed, heaving a sigh. "I guess you're right. We really do need to talk."

"Or we could go back to the part where we're grinning like idiots," Olivia said, hooking a thumb over her shoulder. "I'm good with that."

She gave Olivia a sad look. "Why did you want me to marry him?" she asked, her voice dull.

Olivia sighed, feeling a familiar knot in her gut. "I _didn't_ ," she said. "I just want you to be happy." She grabbed a chair and dragged it over to sit nearby. "I thought he could give you the life you wanted."

"I already _had_ the life I wanted. With you. I'm happy - _with you_ ," Natalia insisted. She watched Olivia's face carefully. "You don't believe me."

"I just... I don't know that you've thought all this through," Olivia countered. "Can you reconcile this with your faith? With our kids?"

"Can you?"

Olivia scoffed. "The kids, sure. But we both know I don't have any faith."

"That's not true," Natalia said, very quietly. "I know you believe in a few things."

"A few _people_ , maybe," Olivia countered. "But not like you do. The Church is part of who you are. I know that. And I know they'd think this is wrong."

"No more 'wrong' than lying before God and marrying a man I don't love to hide from feelings I don't understand." Natalia sighed and looked back at the wardrobe, as if picturing the dress within. "And I still don't... understand them. But I don't want to hide anymore," she declared, looking back at Olivia. "I know what it means to tell someone you love them. That part? I've thought through, Olivia. A hundred times." After a moment of uneasy silence, she reached out to Olivia, who immediately took her hand and tangled their fingers together.

"This is a lot to deal with before coffee," Olivia said, trying not to cry for what felt like the hundredth time in two days. "I'm sorry... About the dress, about the wedding..."

"You were trying to love me," Natalia whispered. "You just naturally make things way too complicated."

Olivia laughed, and dabbed at her eyes with her free hand when the tears spilled over.

"C'mere," Natalia said, as she stood and tugged on Olivia's hand. Once Olivia was upright she immediately enfolded her in a hug, and sighed in contentment when the embrace was returned. As usual, within Olivia's arms she found only good, only truth, only love. It was hard to remember why she'd ever resisted that sense of sweet security in the first place.

The knock on the door broke their mutual absorption, and Olivia glared at it. Again.

"Okay, seriously? I'm firing her," she said, sniffling.

"Oh, stop."

Olivia pulled away. "You think I'm kidding," she called as she stepped into the other room. "Timing this bad should be _criminal_." She smirked and pulled the door open, then felt the floor drop out from under her.

Frank stood there, his legs dusted in snow up to his knees. "Is she here?" He yanked off his hat and pushed past her into the room. "Natalia?" When he spotted her in the doorway to the adjoining room, he hurried over and moved to hug her, but drew up short when he saw the look on her face. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Frank," she said softly. She could hardly look at him, and instead cast a sad, helpless glance past him to Olivia.

"I'll just... Take care of some work, for a bit," Olivia said. She gave Natalia what she hoped was a confident smile, then scrunched her fingers in a tiny wave before disappearing out the door.

Frank hardly noticed her departure. He stepped closer to Natalia, staring her down. "You need to tell me what's wrong."

* * *

Olivia managed to divert room service and stay occupied for a whole hour before she headed back toward her room with apprehension coiled in her gut. She got off the elevator and immediately spotted Frank on the bench across from her door. He was staring hard at Natalia's engagement ring as he clutched it in the tips of his fingers.

"You must think I am a complete fool," he said darkly.

"No," she protested.

"You _helped_ me get her attention. And you _pushed_ her back at me. For what, Olivia?"

"For _her_ ," she replied, aware that he wasn't really listening.

"I wanted my 'shot,' you know? My shot at happiness. But you..."

"I wanted that too, Frankie. I wanted you both to be happy."

" _My_ shot," he roared, pushing himself to his feet. " _Mine_ , Olivia. Not yours. You don't get to make other people..." He stopped, catching himself. "You don't get to give that kind of thing away out of pity."

"It wasn't pity," she argued, fighting tears.

"Oh, so - you can't handle how you feel, so you just unload her on the first poor sap who wanders by?!" he cried. "Why not? Frank will fall for it!"

The door to Olivia's room swung open. Natalia stood inside, tears fresh on her face, but no less ready to fight.

Frank spotted her and deflated a bit, looking ashamed. "She pushed you," he said, pointing at Olivia. "She pushed you into this because she couldn't stand to love you."

"And you were so desperate to be loved you that fell for it," Natalia countered, her voice low and strong. "And I was so afraid of the truth that I was just going to let it all happen. None of us walks away blameless, here."

He nodded, hovering somewhere between desolation and rage, and took another look at the ring he still held before tucking it into his pocket. "But not all of us _are_ walking away, right?" he asked, well aware that he was - literally - the odd man out. Rather than wait for an answer, he lifted a tired hand and headed toward the elevator.

Both women watched him, and when the doors opened and he stepped inside, Olivia called out. "You'll get your shot, Frankie."

He gave her a look resembling a snarl. "What's the good of that? You'll just take it away from me again."

The doors slid shut, leaving them alone.

* * *

Olivia stuffed her hands into her pockets and trailed Natalia back into the room, keeping her distance while her friend drifted away to look out the window.

Natalia watched the road below, and spotted Frank when he left the hotel and shuffled through the snow around the corner. He didn't look back. She wiped her eyes and let herself get lost in the muted features of the snow-covered landscape. "You know, I always liked to think this kind of thing just didn't happen in my world," she said. She regretted how that sounded immediately, and her head fell to one side while she tried to wish back the words.

"Maybe it shouldn't happen at all," Olivia replied.

Natalia turned from the window and leaned against the sill. "Don't do that. Don't run away. Nothing bad's happened in almost two minutes, now." She paused, waiting for Olivia to chuckle, or cry, or bolt. When none of that happened, she took a breath. "I love you, Olivia," she whispered. "And yesterday? When I realized I had a choice? I chose you."

Olivia flinched, but held her ground. Natalia pushed away from the window and took a hesitant step closer.

"When Frank was here?" she continued, drawing strength from the riveted look on Olivia's face. "I gave him back his ring. I chose _you_."

"What about your faith?" Olivia whispered. "You can't choose me over God."

Natalia shrugged, helpless. "I don't know yet. And our kids? I don't know that part, either." She chanced taking one more step. "But since I met you, _every time_ I've chosen you, I've been right." With one last step, she was mere inches away from Olivia, leaning to chase her eyes as she looked away. "I like those odds," she whispered.

"Okay," Olivia rasped in reply.

And with that, the pendulum dragged to a halt. Their world stopped swinging between extremes of hope and despair and love and fear. Natalia smiled, feeling everything steady around her for the first time in weeks. "Okay," she agreed.

Olivia took a shaky breath. "So what happens next?"

"I'm gonna call my son," Natalia said, happy to have an easy answer for once. "You're gonna re-order room service." Then she shrugged. "Then maybe we could just sort of... be together, for the day."

"And after that?"

Natalia reached to run her fingers through Olivia's hair. "Then we'll be together tomorrow. And the day after that. Then, before you know it, I'll have loved you for the rest of your life."

She said it offhandedly, with a silly grin. Like it was a joke. Like it wasn't the kind of vow that was supposed to be sealed with a kiss.

Olivia wasn't taking any chances. She surged forward and took Natalia's face in her hands, then kissed her speechless. Again.

* * *

A week passed, then two. The snow from that fateful storm melted, giving way to the first signs of spring. Slowly Olivia and Natalia were relearning their routine, relearning how to be friends in work and in love.

In all it was shockingly easy, save a recriminating glare or two from the occasional passing Cooper. The town murmurs stirred by Natalia's dramatic non-wedding conveniently died down just as Rafe shuffled off to start his parole. In the meantime, the two women embarked upon the relationship most people had assumed was already in progress. They went on a date; no one noticed. They worked together even more closely than before; only Greg noticed, with a roll of his eyes.

And when Olivia lingered on the farmhouse porch on a Friday night, struggling to tear herself away from the softness of Natalia's lips and say goodbye after a long day together, not even the ducks noticed. Much.

"I'm coming, already," Natalia grumbled the next morning as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. The knock on her door was insistent, and damned early for a Saturday. She flung the door open to face an anxious delivery man.

"Ms. Rivera?" he asked from behind the biggest arrangement of lilies she'd ever seen.

"Yes?" She peered around the edge of the flowers.

"Where would you like these?"

"Uh... the kitchen table's good," she said, bewildered.

"Right. How about the rest of them?"

"The rest?" Natalia stuck her head out the door to see three other delivery men, all holding bouquets as large as the first. "Oh, boy," she breathed.

"Did you win the lottery or something?" the first courier cracked.

She snorted. "It looks that way, doesn't it?" Once they'd come in, dropped off their enormous piles of flowers and filed out again, Natalia dug out her cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"Hey," came Olivia's low, familiar voice from the other end.

Just that one syllable did funny things to Natalia's insides. "Hi. You're nuts."

Olivia laughed. "You don't like them?"

"They're lovely, Olivia. They're..." She eyed the botanical explosion in her house. "They're amazing. They're beautiful. But you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to," Olivia said, easily. "You deserve that and a lot more."

_I don't_ , she wanted to say out of pure reflex. But then Olivia would argue with her, trying to shout down a lifetime of self-doubt over the phone, ruining what was turning out to be a rather amazing morning. "Thank you," she said instead, hearing the shakiness in her own voice. "I really miss having you here." Like a few other recent moments of truth between them, it came rushing out in an inelegant blurt.

On the other end, Olivia sighed. "I really miss being there," she replied.

"How goes the house hunt, anyway?"

"Honestly? I haven't been thinking about it," Olivia said. "I have about eight messages from my realtor to return."

"Tell her to forget it," Natalia said, suddenly bold in the face of hundreds of floral declarations of their mutual affection.

It was quiet on the other end, until she heard Olivia take a deep breath. "Are you sure?"

"No," Natalia admitted after a moment. "But the next time you move, I want it to be to back here. And I want it to be for good."

"Okay," Olivia replied. "No rush, though," she added, pitching her voice low and affectionate. "I want us to get this right." She felt that sentiment lie between them, easily able to picture the sweet smile on Natalia's face. "So listen, after Emma's done watching her cartoons, I was thinking we'd use the nice weather to go to the park. Want to come?"

"Nice weather?" Natalia scoffed. "Olivia, it's barely above freezing."

"I thought you Midwestern girls were made of sterner stuff," Olivia teased. "But if you're _cold_ I suppose we _could_ snuggle on a bench for warmth."

Natalia narrowed her eyes, realizing by the all-too-innocent tone that she'd been set up for exactly that proposition. She considered calling Olivia on it, poking her for a laugh. Instead, she just shrugged, ceding to inevitability. "I'll bring the hot cocoa," she promised.

And when they huddled together and looked as happy as any other pair of parents at the playground, only Emma noticed, though she decided to keep it to herself. Pointing out how close her two mommies were tended to make them leap apart in embarrassment, so she just watched them from a distance with a happy grin.

* * *

A few days later they were at the Beacon, zipping through their morning routine toward a planned lunch date.

"Crap," Olivia muttered.

Natalia looked up from her laptop. "What's wrong?"

"The Indy office needs to do an emergency conference call at noon."

"Oh." She frowned, faintly disappointed. "Well, okay. We'll just have the kitchen bring something up."

"But I was really craving Buzz Burgers," Olivia said, pouting.

Natalia narrowed her eyes. "So, send your assistant out to get some," she said. The bright smile she got in response sealed the deal, and she chuckled as she stood and grabbed her purse and jacket. "You are so easy," she said with a laugh, before bending to press a kiss to the crown of Olivia's head and breezing out the door.

She stepped out of the lobby, barely noticing the large, dark car in front of her, or the driver who stepped into her path to get her attention.

"Ms. Rivera," the driver said with a sharp nod. "I've been instructed to take you to your appointment."

"My appointment?" she asked, dumbly. Her brain was already halfway to Company, trying to calculate the best way to avoid midday traffic.

"Yes, ma'am. Ms. Spencer left detailed instructions." He moved to the car's rear door and opened it, politely ignoring her brief moment of wobbly hesitance while she tried to figure out what to do. It occurred to her that Olivia had planned this - whatever "this" was - so it was probably best to just play along. Still, she didn't much care for surprises, and she certainly didn't care for the feeling of being deliberately set up for one.

Her phone trilled in her purse, and she dug it out to see a text message from Olivia.

_On second thought, take a long lunch on your own. Love, O._

She half-smiled at the driver, who still waited impassively. "'Detailed instructions,' huh?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am. And I'm not to share them with you."

"Right." She smacked her phone against her open palm, fighting the urge to call Olivia and demand to know what this was all about. "Okay," she said finally, as she stepped forward and climbed into the car. She cast a wary look at the basket and cooler tucked into the back seat, and settled in to wait.

The drive was a long one, and not a route she recognized. They left Springfield and ended up in a small nearby town had probably seen better days before the recession. A few minutes later the driver pulled into the parking lot of a dilapidated grocery store, where Natalia recognized a familiar figure trudging across the parking lot. She was out of the car almost before it had come to a complete stop.

"Rafe!" she called, as she jogged toward him.

"Ma? What are you doing here?" Rafe asked. He abandoned a stray shopping cart to hug her.

"I don't really know," she said with a laugh. "I think I'm bringing you lunch."

"I only get half an hour," he warned.

"I'll take it." She tilted upward to plant a kiss on his cheek and grinned.

The driver took them to a park down the road, where Natalia unpacked the basket and cooler and walked with Rafe to a bench up a nearby hill. As they dug into their provisions, she couldn't help but giggle at the Buzz Burgers carefully wrapped in heater packs, and the prominently-labeled sugar free pie for dessert.

They talked about work, about the halfway house, about how Rafe was slowly readjusting to life outside. Eventually a light wind kicked up, bringing the scent of new flowers across the hill. Natalia turned her face into the breeze, letting it tug at her hair. Rafe watched her as she shut her eyes against the sunlight with a beatific smile.

"You look happy, Ma," he murmured. "Like, _really_ happy."

She opened her eyes and looked over at him again. "Yeah, I guess I am."

He nodded, and took a bite of his burger. "But it's not Frank, is it? You were never that happy with him."

"No," she admitted with a sigh.

Rafe looked down the hill at the driver and the expensive car, doing a bit of mental arithmetic about the source of both their meal and his mother's extended lunch hour. "So, whenever you want to tell me about it, you know I'll listen and be glad for you, right?"

She gave him a worried, uncomfortable glance. "Even if it's weird, at first?"

"Yeah," he said, chuckling. He slung an arm around her shoulders in a half-hug. "Even if it's weird."

* * *

On the drive back, she couldn't stop smiling. She had to stop herself from hugging the driver when he opened the door for her at the Beacon.

She didn't stop herself from hugging her boss.

Olivia had her back turned to the office door, and Natalia grabbed her from behind, squishing her with awkward, if heartfelt gratitude.

"Oof," Olivia exhaled with a chuckle, before turning within the embrace. "Have a nice lunch?"

"You know I did," Natalia said. She leaned away just enough to grin at the other woman. "But you really don't have to work this hard."

"It's not work," Olivia protested.

"Really. You've already _got_ me."

"Maybe I want you to know you've got _me_." She brushed Natalia's bangs aside with a delicate fingertip.

That notion was too far out of Natalia's experience for her to properly process. Instead her face fell as she reverted to what she knew of every relationship she'd ever had. "But there's no way I could ever repay you..."

At that, Olivia stepped away, struck by the dismay in the other woman's tone. "What does that mean?"

"It's just that..." She hesitated, and held out her hands in frustration. "I can't afford to get you the kinds of nice things you're used to. I can't buy you hundreds of flowers. I can't hire a driver to take you some place amazing for an afternoon..."

"Then ask your boss for a raise," Olivia fired back, before wincing and trying a different approach. "What on earth makes you think I _want_ that from you?" She studied Natalia's downcast gaze and felt familiar frustration churn in her gut. "It's just money, Natalia. I spend a little and it makes you happy. Why is that always a problem?"

"Because everything always comes with a price," Natalia answered, miserable.

Olivia had to swallow against the sudden sick feeling in her gut. "Right. A good lawyer, a nice house, a decent chance for your son," she recited, her voice hollow. "Even love? Is that what you think? That I'm trying to buy you?"

The answer was immediate, even as Natalia fought back tears. "No. But no one has ever given me so much without wanting something in return. There's always a catch."

"And I've done that before," Olivia said sadly. "I've used money to get what I wanted out of a relationship. I've used sex. I've used power." She shrugged. "So maybe you're right. Maybe that's all this is." She shrugged and shifted back toward her desk.

The conversation had spiraled entirely out of control, and Natalia couldn't find a way to recover. Inadequacy had tumbled headlong into guilt, and now Olivia was turning away from her, maybe for good.

"No," Natalia said. She leapt forward to grab hold of the other woman's arm. "That's not what this is. I know that." With a shaking hand, she guided Olivia's face around to look back at her. "I _know_ that, Olivia. You've always given freely to me." She sighed, and used the pad of her thumb to catch an errant tear on Olivia's cheek. "Even though I've always been bad at accepting it."

They both knew was true. A few flowers and a sponsored midday field trip were the least of Olivia's expenses on her behalf, and every single time it came up Natalia had bridled at the notion of owing anyone else for her well-being or that of her son.

"But you've given freely to me, too," Olivia replied, hoarse with pent up emotion. "And I could never figure out why you bothered."

Natalia herself hadn't known the answer to that until recently, even though now it was so obvious. "Because I love you," she whispered, relieved when Olivia immediately relaxed.

"I love you, too," Olivia answered. She took a deep, steadying breath and blinked away tears. "And that's all that the flowers and the lunch are about. I just like seeing you smile."

Natalia heaved a sigh as well, walking back the strained emotions to how elated she'd been when she'd first walked in the room. "So, let's try this again," she said. "I loved seeing my son today, Olivia. Thank you. And I'm sorry for overreacting."

"You're welcome," Olivia whispered. "And I'm sorry if I went overboard." She shrugged and cast her eyes downward. "I'm not very good at this."

Natalia wasn't about to let her get away with that. She lifted a hand to Olivia's cheek, forcing the other woman's gaze to meet her own. "Don't apologize for loving me," she admonished gently. "We'll get better, both of us. It's just... this is new, and it's different, right?"

"Really different," Olivia breathed. "I've never felt this way before."

"Me neither," Natalia said. "It's amazing, and scary, and wonderful..." She trailed off, smiling at Olivia's snort of agreement, and watching as the other woman's eyes tracked downwards, fixated on her lips. Suddenly self-conscious, Natalia scrunched up her face in a goofy expression. "So you like my smile, huh?"

"I _love_ your smile," Olivia exhaled, entranced.

Natalia had always marveled at how in the progression of their friendship the mood between them could shift between heated anger and easy affection in the blink of an eye. Now the added dimension of pure, unshielded desire positively made her head spin. She hummed a bit, enjoying the tension that built as she drifted a bit closer. "Now, see, _I_ love your eyes. The way you look at me... God, Olivia. It's pure hunger."

Olivia let the moment smolder a bit longer before she cracked a grin. "Well, I did miss lunch."

She was so caught up in the warmth and flirtation between them that it took her a second to process that comment. "I... Yes. You did." With a shake of her head, Natalia pulled herself back to the present, where she was an employee in her boss' office during business hours. "Can I get you anything?"

"The kitchen's bringing something up," Olivia said with a shrug. She retreated a little, leaning against the edge of her desk.

The distance did little to soothe her simmering hormones, and she wondered vaguely if her cheeks were as flushed as they felt. "I thought you were craving Buzz Burgers."

Olivia trailed her eyes slowly up Natalia's body, making sure the other woman noticed her appraisal. "Nah. Not today."

Natalia swallowed hard, then started at the knock on the door from the service staff. "I'll just..." she stammered, and pointed to the attached bathroom, where she fled to splash water on her face.

The low, gentle laugh that followed her did little to ease her furious blush, which seemed to last the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

With the promise of ice cream and generous overtime pay, respectively, Emma was safely handed off to Jane's care for the evening. That was step one.

Step two was convincing Olivia to trade her usual elevated footwear for something a little more functional, a task Natalia accomplished with a winsome smile and a headtilt to say, "Please?"

Of course that worked, so they embarked on a walk together on the outskirts of town. Had either woman been inclined to force their attention away from the other, they would have noticed the fresh, sparkling look of Springfield after a light spring shower as they strolled along.

Their meandering route eventually brought them to the stairs that led up to the church, where they stopped to take a breather. Olivia gave the building a faintly suspicious glare, then eyed Natalia's profile. The determined look on the other woman's face made her realize their journey hadn't been nearly as aimless as she'd thought. "Why are we here?" she asked quietly.

Natalia turned toward her, slow and deliberate. "Because I realized there's something I need to give you," she replied.

"I thought we were over the gift thing."

She took Olivia's hand, coaxing her up the church steps. "Trust me on this," she said. "It's important."

"Natalia, I don't _need_ anything from you. Really. Ever."

"That's not true," Natalia protested. "But it took me a while to figure that out." At the top of the steps she held the door open and waited. "Please?" This time she traded the winsome smile for a direct, sincere look.

With a faint grumble, Olivia ducked her head and stepped inside.

The sanctuary was dark, lit only by the slanting rays of the late afternoon sun and a few fitful candles. Natalia could feel Olivia's hesitance, but drew her steadily along at her side until they stood together in front of the altar.

She waited while Natalia ducked her head in a quick prayer, and eyed the cross above them. When Olivia heard a quiet "Amen," she turned to face her companion, not bothering to hide her uncertainty.

"So, I've been thinking a lot, lately," Natalia said, visibly steeling herself. "And praying a lot. And looking for a sign." She shrugged, and smiled crookedly. "Then I realized that the past year has been _littered_ with signs and I've been too blind to see them." She lifted a hand to hover over Olivia's chest, pressing a single fingertip to the other woman's sternum. "Starting with Gus' heart, ending with that snowstorm a few weeks ago."

Olivia exhaled a nervous chuckle. "Are you sure those signs don't say 'Wrong Way?' 'No U Turn?'" She smirked. "'Slippery When Wet?'"

Natalia shook her head and pressed onward. "Those signs tell me that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, and with the one I'm supposed to be with," she countered. "I have never been so sure about anything in my life. But I _know_ you, Olivia. I know you need to be convinced that I'm really here. I know you need the Grand Gesture."

At that point, the apprehension in Olivia's eyes was painfully obvious. Natalia tried to soothe her with a gentle look before reaching behind her neck, pulling her long hair away from the gold necklace that bore her treasured cross. Her hands were trembling, and she fumbled a bit with the clasp. Finally she tugged the necklace free, wound up the chain, and carefully lifted one of Olivia's hands to place it in an open palm. "I'm not asking you to wear it," she said quietly, as she tucked Olivia's fingers around the necklace. "Just... hold onto it, for me."

Olivia inhaled, the sound harsh and loud in the stillness. "This isn't mine to take," she rasped.

"I know. But it's mine to give," Natalia whispered. "I love you, Olivia. And I love God. And He loves both of us, no matter what." She stepped a bit closer, holding Olivia's gaze with her own. "I need you to know that I believe that. That I believe what we have is good, and beautiful. That I believe this is _right_."

For a moment, she thought Olivia would refuse. Natalia watched the struggle play out across the other woman's face before she finally managed a shaky nod.

"I'll keep it safe for you," Olivia vowed.

The slow, joyous smile on Natalia's face easily outshone the flickering candlelight around them. "I know you will." She reached up to catch an errant tear from Olivia's cheek with the pad of her thumb, then left her hand there, caressing that cherished face before leaning in for a sweet, gentle kiss.

For several moments they held onto each other in that space, where so many prayers borne upon so much hope had taken flight, flung toward the unknowable heart of God.

And for the first time in forever, Olivia thought that maybe there really was someone listening on the other end. She cast another glance up at the cross above the altar, then looked into the tearful, smiling face of the woman she loved.

Together they strolled back down the aisle, hand in hand and hearts entwined.


	4. Somehow We Get There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-wedding musings, enhanced by a certain Spaulding's ability to avoid the clutches of law enforcement.

They were in the office when it happened, working in tandem just as they had for months.

Side by side at Olivia's desk, they compared layouts for their upcoming sales presentation, until eventually Natalia noticed Olivia's hand at the small of her back. She looked over and found herself pinned by intense green eyes that radiated unmistakable love and desire.

And then she'd stepped away, out of the warm circle of Olivia's grasp.

She saw love fade to hurt in those eyes, feeling it in her gut like a physical blow. In that second, Natalia knew exactly what was going to happen next. She texted Jane and asked her to keep Emma for the evening.

Predictably, like some passive-aggressive Old Faithful, Olivia had sulked through the remaining hours of their day, and was silent the entire ride home. The argument ahead of them brewed like a storm, which finally broke at the dinner table over mashed potatoes and broccoli.

"So, at some point are you actually gonna try to get over all those hang-ups?"

Natalia rolled her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"All I did was touch you, and you..." Olivia waved in frustration, searching for the word. "You _recoiled_ from me."

"I didn't 'recoil.' I stepped away because it wasn't appropriate behavior in the workplace."

"Well, you could probably take that up with your boss," Olivia said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh wait. I bet she's okay with it."

"Anybody could walk into that office at any time," Natalia fired back.

"So?"

"So?! Someone could have seen us."

Olivia sat back, slowly. "And what would they have seen?"

Natalia's nostrils flared, but she didn't answer. As new as the latest phase of their relationship was, this was already a well-traveled path.

"They _might_ have seen two women who happen to be in love with each other," Olivia said with a diffident shrug. "Or maybe they'd just see someone who's too wrapped up in her own shame to admit..."

"I am _not_ ashamed of how I feel," Natalia snapped.

Olivia leaned forward again. "You could have fooled me," she said, low and dangerous, as she snatched her plate off the table and stood to toss it in the sink.

"There's such a thing as propriety," Natalia countered.

"Screw propriety! Natalia, I _love you_ and I want to shout it from the rooftops. I just think it'd be nice if you felt even remotely the same."

"That's not fair."

"You're right. It's not."

Natalia's jaw set, and she reverted to professional mode to rein in her anger. "Okay. I'm going to go drop off the presentation files at the printer."

"Fine," Olivia spat, throwing a frustrated hand into the air. "You do that."

Professional mode or not, Natalia enjoyed slamming the door behind her.

* * *

She finished every tedious work errand she could think of an hour later, but still found her gut burning with frustration. Out of sheer habit she'd headed for Company, remembering almost too late that she did not yet have the nerve to face the collective Coopers. With a sigh, she backtracked to Towers, plunked down in a remote booth and ordered a glass of wine.

She kept her head down, avoiding the curious eyes she could feel aimed at her from all corners of the restaurant, and didn't notice the tall form that sidled up to her table.

"Mind if I join you?"

Natalia looked up to see Phillip Spaulding already settling into the seat across from her. "Uh..."

"It's nice to see you too," he said brightly, waving at the waiter for a drink. "How are you, Natalia?"

"Peachy," she muttered.

"Yeah. I heard you've had a busy week," he said.

"I bet you did."

"So it's true? You ditched Frank Cooper at the altar for Olivia?"

She groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"I _thought_ that looked like Olivia-induced frustration," he said, sounding positively gleeful. "Welcome to the club."

"This isn't funny," she hissed. "The whole town has been whispering about it. They're all staring at me."

"I beg to differ. They're staring at me."

She lifted her head just enough to squint up at him in disbelief.

Phillip loosed a manic grin, which prompted the waiter to drop his drink on the table and flee. "They might think you've turned spontaneously gay, but they think _I'm_ criminally insane. That means I win."

Natalia slowly sat up, realizing he was right, and that he'd sat down with her for exactly that reason. He was using his own status as an outcast to buffer against hers. It was kind of nice, in a weird way. "So, out of curiosity, what do you think?"

He looked off into the distance with a thoughtful expression. "I think I'm tragically misunderstood."

"I meant, about _me_ ," she said, exasperated.

"Oh. You're asking if I think you're gay? I'm pretty sure you're the only one who can answer that question."

It was a perfectly reasonable and utterly infuriating answer. She sighed and leaned back in her seat, still tallying the furtive glances pointed their way.

"Mostly, I think you're good for my daughter," he said, speculative. "And regardless of your overall inclinations, I think you're Olivia's match. I've known her a long time, but I've never known her to be at peace like she is now. That's all because of you. And I'm glad, because she deserves it."

She stared at him, trying to detect anything disingenuous about his words and failing.

Phillip made a dismissive gesture encompassing the rest of the people in the room and the town beyond. "Don't bother yourself with the Springfield gossip, Natalia. You and whatever scandalous things are happening at that farmhouse will be old news in a week."

"It'll be a long week," she muttered.

He chuckled, then gave her a shrug. "I suspect the end result is worth it."

Natalia watched him for a moment, realizing that the "end result" was the exasperating, wonderful woman waiting for her at home. In an abrupt flurry of motion, she ripped open her purse, threw some bills on the table, and slid out of the booth. "I have to go," she announced.

"I'm sure you do," Phillip replied. He grinned and sipped at his drink.

She paused, eyeing him uncertainly. "You know, I don't get you," she said.

He lifted his glass in a mock toast. "Like I said - 'tragically misunderstood.'"

"I don't understand your motivations. And I don't trust that you have Emma's best interests at heart. Yet."

Phillip waited, studying her resolve.

"But thank you."

"You're welcome, Natalia," he said with a smile.

It seemed awfully genuine. She nodded and left.

* * *

She braced herself as she strode up the sidewalk to the house, unsurprised to see Olivia seated on the porch bench. They stared at each other as she drew closer, trying to feel out their respective moods.

When she was just a couple steps away, Natalia took a deep breath and dove in. "Look. I was a good Catholic girl who got knocked up at the age of sixteen with no means of supporting myself or my child," she said. Her voice shook just a little. "I _know_ shame. But loving you? That is not something I will _ever_ be ashamed of."

Tears immediately sprung to Olivia's eyes. "Okay," she whispered.

"What I _am_ is scared. And not really sure who I am anymore. And I'm not ready to be a poster child for an alternative lifestyle."

"Okay," Olivia said again.

"I want some time to understand 'us' before I have to explain it to anyone else. And I need my best friend to support me while I figure it all out."

"Always," the friend in question vowed.

Natalia nodded, then turned and sat on the bench. She took Olivia's hand and lifted it across her own shoulder in a half-hug. Olivia immediately pulled her closer, leaning over to press a kiss to Natalia's dark hair.

"So maybe we could find a 'starter' rooftop for me to shout from? Something low to the ground?" She looked over as Olivia chuckled. "With one of those nets firefighters use?"

"You don't have to do any of that," Olivia said. "I'm sorry for pushing you."

"You didn't, not really. I've just been hearing people talk, like they always do... And this isn't the first time I've wished I had your confidence." Natalia exhaled a sad sigh. "But you know, when I look back at all you were willing to sacrifice, all for the sake of my happiness... Olivia, you've been shouting all along. I'm sorry I didn't hear you."

"You did when it mattered," Olivia whispered.

Natalia sniffled back tears, and looked into Olivia's eyes. "I really do love you," she said with a tremulous smile.

"I love you," Olivia replied, shaky but sure.

It was hard to reconcile the resulting tug of pure joy with the weight of guilt she still bore, but as Olivia nuzzled against her neck, Natalia suspected joy was eventually going to win this round. "I'll be glad when Spring finally shows up," she said idly. "It would be nice to have meaningful conversations on this bench when it's a bit warmer. And then we can watch the baby birds learn to fly."

Olivia smiled and pulled back a bit. "And in the summer we can count fireflies," she murmured, cherishing the dreamy, reflective smile that brought out Natalia's dimples. "And make Emma rake leaves in the fall."

Natalia laughed and elbowed her. "We'll buy a leaf blower."

"Or make Rafe do it," they said together, laughing.

Ahead of them stretched out dozens of seasons, all beautiful, all shared with in this home with their children. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once, and Olivia was loathe to break the spell with the mundanity of real life. "So... now's probably not the best time to tell you this," she began. "But there was a teeny incident with the washing machine, earlier."

Natalia's eyebrows shot up as she peered sideways at Olivia, not sure she wanted to know more. "How 'teeny?'"

"It's kind of... Bubble Armageddon in the laundry room right now."

Natalia shut her eyes, and let her head loll backwards.

"I was letting them die down a bit before I go back and start bailing."

At that, Natalia snorted in laughter, and Olivia joined in. The lingering worries between them dissolved as giggles in the twilight.

"I probably shouldn't be left to my own devices," Olivia said, dabbing at stray moisture in her eyes.

"No, you really shouldn't. Why were you doing laundry, anyway?"

The other woman winced. "I thought maybe you'd think it was cute and you'd stop being mad at me." She caught Natalia's amused look and shrugged. "I'm new at this too, okay?"

Natalia shook her head in her trademark _What on earth am I going to do with you?_ way, then stood up. "I'm not mad at you," she said, offering a hand down to her friend. "And you are pretty cute. Let's go save my laundry room."

With a triumphant grin, Olivia grabbed the outstretched hand and let herself be pulled to her feet. "You think I'm cute?"

"God, Olivia," Natalia said, exasperated. She tugged the front door open. "'Bubble Armageddon?'"

"I was going to go with 'Soapy Shock and Awe,' but that seemed a bit tacky."

"You think?" Natalia fired back, as the door shut behind them.


	5. Fighting Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet another way Natalia rejects Frank.

The one benefit of being the school's parental pariah was having an entire row of seats to herself at her kid's talent show.

At least, that's what Olivia kept telling herself.

She sighed for the fifth time in as many minutes and shifted in her chair, glaring back at the annoyed looks from the parents in front of her.

For a while she distracted herself by pondering whether she would be more or less miserable if Natalia were there with her. The other woman had promised to attend, but maybe it was best if she didn't. Maybe it was best if they kept a little distance until it stopped feeling like Olivia had had her chest torn open and her heart ripped out.

Again.

Sometime during the third off-key rendition of "Tomorrow," Natalia bustled in and slid down the row next to Olivia. "Hi," she whispered, as she sat and tucked away her coat and purse. "Did I miss it?"

The anxious flip in Olivia's gut was a strange combination of relief, happiness, and irritation. "No, she hasn't been on yet," she whispered back.

"Good!" Natalia settled in to wait, watching the third grade dance routine on stage devolve into flailing chaos. She giggled and looked over at Olivia with a conspiratorial grin.

It was like old times between them, except for the part where it totally wasn't.

Emma was up two acts later, reading poetry while her classmate played violin beside her. Her voice was bright and clear, and when Natalia grabbed Olivia's hand, for a few heartbreaking moments everything was okay again.

It was the sweetest kind of pain, these past few days - being in love, being loved, being unable to do anything about it, still having to endure Natalia's gentle touch. Olivia decided it was colossally unfair and extricated her hand to clap for Emma's performance. She was aching, wishing for things that could never be, hoping just to hold it together until the end of the show.

When the lights came up, Natalia leaned over to whisper to her. "I'm really sorry I was late."

Olivia stood, giving the auditorium a casual once-over and planning her escape route. "No, it's fine. Emma didn't even notice."

That stung, but Natalia ignored the jab and took a deep breath. "Okay. The thing is? I need you to ask me _why_ I was late," she said as she pushed to her feet.

"I don't care why you were late," Olivia said with a shrug. "You can come and go as you please." She turned to head over to the refreshment table.

Natalia reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her back around. "Olivia. Ask me."

The obdurate heat in her friend's voice caught her off guard, and she tried not to panic. Instead, as she so often did, she defaulted to snide. "Why? Were you interviewing for another job or something?"

Natalia rolled her eyes. "Just stop. Stop doing that. Stop pushing me away," she cried, loud enough to draw attention from a few nearby parents. She didn't notice. "I went to see Frank," she snapped. "I went, and I gave him back his ring for good, and I told him why I couldn't marry him."

Finally she had Olivia's undivided attention. "You did _what_?"

"I told him that I was using him to hide from my feelings for you."

Olivia's mouth hung open as she felt her heart start to pound entirely out of control.

"You should probably check your messages," Natalia said, waving a hand in the general direction of Olivia's purse.

Grateful for the distraction, Olivia immediately dug through her bag and fumbled with the phone's buttons.

She had one text, from Frank's cell.

TAKE CARE OF HER.

She almost dropped the phone.

"You know, he wasn't all that surprised," Natalia was saying. "I think Buzz might have talked to him." After a moment, her brow furrowed. "Actually, it's weird, but I feel like half the town already knows something about us." She cast her eyes around the room, offering a faint smile to her unintended audience.

With a discreet cough, Olivia stuffed her phone back into her purse and stepped closer. "Why are you doing this?" she hissed.

"Because you were right. I was afraid to admit how I feel... but I'm not, anymore." Under her friend's intense stare, Natalia made a scrunchy face and gave in to the impulse to tug nervously on an earring. "Well, maybe a little. But I'm with okay that."

"You don't want this," Olivia said, and spent a moment convincing herself that the immediate, defiant lift of Natalia's chin wasn't the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

Natalia looked around the auditorium, spotting children as they slowly trickled out from backstage and were gathered by their parents in celebration. "You're wrong," she said. "This is the only thing I want. I want my family. I want you."

Olivia shook her head, dismissive. "But..."

With sudden, fierce resolve, Natalia reached out to snag Olivia's hand. "Listen to me," she whispered, low and intense. "I fought for your heart once before, Olivia. I'll do it again."

Olivia's breath caught as she saw the steely certainty in her friend's eyes. "Natalia," she whispered.

"And I'll win. Again." She tilted up on her toes and planted the softest, sweetest of kisses on Olivia's lips, then turned and smiled as Emma's teacher approached. "The talent show was wonderful, Mrs. Jennings."

"I'm so glad you were able to attend, Ms. Rivera," the other woman said with a pleasant smile. "Emma did an excellent job."

"She really did. I wouldn't have missed it."

"Great," Ms. Jennings said brightly. "Well, please have some cookies. Derek's father is a baker and he brings us the most delicious treats."

"We'll do that," Natalia said as the teacher wandered off, quite aware that Olivia had not moved, had not replied, and was in fact barely breathing next to her. She looked back into Olivia's wide, scared eyes and smiled. "You look like a woman who needs a cookie," she murmured. "I'll get you one."

She stepped away, into the throng of chattering parents, only to find herself restrained by a hand on her wrist. When she looked back, Olivia was fighting tears.

"Chocolate chip?" she requested in a tiny voice.

Natalia grinned. "You bet."


	6. Another First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pile of fluff in response to the question, "will these two ever be allowed to kiss again???" The title is from a song by They Might Be Giants.

She was pretending to work on her laptop at the kitchen table, killing time until Natalia got home. When she heard the bustle of her arrival in the front room, Olivia straightened, quit her game of solitaire, and put on her best "I'm really quite busy and totally wasn't just waiting for you" look.

"Hi," Natalia said, as she clomped into the kitchen. "Sorry I'm late. I had to stop on the way home."

Olivia eyed the bags the other woman was carrying. "You went by Staples? Get anything good?"

Natalia grinned in the way that reminded Olivia that they knew _entirely_ too much about each other.

"Not that... I care. About Staples," Olivia stammered, reverting to her very busy, very disaffected attitude.

"Don't worry. No one will ever know about your secret office supply fetish," Natalia said with a chuckle. She set the bags on the table and stripped off her coat.

"That's because I don't _have_ a secret office supply fetish," Olivia scoffed. A moment later, she peered over the edge of the bag. "Are those gel rollerball pens?"

"Mmhmm."

"Point-five millimeter?"

"Mmmmhmm." Natalia pulled the package out of the bag and dangled it in the air.

Olivia resisted for exactly two seconds before reaching out with grabby hands. "Gimme."

Instead of handing over the rollerball goodies, Natalia leaned down and captured Olivia's lips in a soft, affectionate kiss. It caught them both by surprise, but not enough to shorten the contact. Those same grabby hands were tangled in Natalia's hair by the time they separated.

"Huh," Olivia blurted.

Natalia smiled and dropped the package on the table. "You're too cute, sometimes." She grabbed the shopping bag and crossed the kitchen to put her purchases away.

It took her several seconds to recover, but eventually Olivia stood and followed. "Okay, see, that didn't go according to plan."

"What? How?" Natalia paused with a frown. "Why?" she asked slowly, not even sure what questions she was supposed to be asking.

"That kiss. Right there. That was unacceptable."

Natalia blinked and raised her fingers to her lips. "Why? Do I..."

"No! No, no, no!" Olivia jumped forward and waved off her insecurity. "No, that was... It was a good kiss." She reflected dreamily for a moment. "Great, actually. It just wasn't how I wanted our first kiss to go."

"But that wasn't our first kiss."

Olivia blew out a dismissive noise. "Well, that other one didn't count."

"Oh." Apparently there were rules to such things Natalia wasn't yet privy to. "So, how did you want it to go?"

"I don't know. I wanted it to be more... momentous. Perfect. Natalia, I haven't even _flossed_ today."

"I'm not that high maintenance."

" _I am._ "

It was no casual admission. Natalia stifled a grin, and bumped a hip against the edge of the counter. "Okay."

She sighed and gave Natalia a shy look from under her eyelashes. "It's just... You deserve everything to be special, and memorable, and amazing."

If Olivia Spencer didn't have a secret office supply fetish, she most _certainly_ did not have an adorably sentimental streak that made Natalia's entire heart ache. She took a deep breath to ward off happy tears, and shrugged. "So? We'll call a do-over. We've already got one unofficial first kiss, so what does another one hurt?"

Olivia scowled. "A do-over."

"Sure."

"We can do that?"

Natalia nodded, and gave her a slow smile. "I think we can do anything we want."

"Okay. See, this? This is why I love you." Olivia stepped forward, raised her hands to cradle Natalia's face, then stopped herself. "Nope. Still not right," she muttered, and pointed over her shoulder. "I'm gonna go."

Natalia watched her leave, laughing when Olivia backtracked to snag her new package of pens.

* * *

Two days later, while Natalia was making Emma's lunch, she found herself spun around and pushed backward against the counter, as hungry lips slanted over hers with heated intent. She inhaled sharply and wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck in response, careful not to do any damage with the knife and open jar of peanut butter she was still holding.

They broke apart long moments later, panting at each other as they tilted their foreheads together.

"That didn't count either," Olivia breathed. She turned and beat a hasty retreat from the kitchen.

Natalia grinned, dabbed at the faint sheen of sweat on her forehead with the back of her wrist, and returned to her task.

* * *

It had been one of those long, exasperating days at the Beacon that left them both strung out and annoyed. Oddly, those kinds of days also managed to draw them closer together, reinforcing their sense of mutual reliance and trust. They really were the best kind of team, and when they were side by side there was nothing they couldn't conquer.

So in the elevator, on the long ride down to the lobby, they turned into each other and embraced without conscious thought.

"You're amazing, you know?" Olivia rasped. She reached up to tug her fingers through Natalia's dark hair.

"You inspire me," Natalia replied. "I love you." She watched Olivia's eyes flutter shut, and leaned up to bump their noses together. "So how about now? Would this count?" she whispered.

"Our first kiss can't be interrupted by a..." Olivia lifted her eyes as the elevator beeped twice. "By that." She shrugged and pulled away as the doors parted. "Sorry."

Natalia spread her hands wide in frustration as she watched Olivia slip out into the lobby. "Are you going to write all these rules down somewhere?" she called after the other woman. "Maybe with all those pens you're hoarding?!" She stomped out of the elevator and belatedly noticed half the staff standing nearby, all watching her. She plastered on a casual smile. "She doesn't actually hoard pens. That would be weird. Right?"

No one answered. With a sigh she ducked her head and followed her boss outside.

* * *

Finally, they found themselves alone together on a Saturday evening, free of work, interruptions, and responsibility. Emma was staying the night at a friend's house, and the two women were enjoying a pleasant walk through the nearby woods.

At least, Natalia was enjoying it.

"Stupid weather," Olivia muttered.

"It's fine," Natalia said with a faint laugh. "It's a beautiful spring evening."

"It's a full moon, but you can't tell because of the clouds."

"So?" She watched Olivia glower, and canted her head to one side. "Oh, please. Would you just accept that there's no such thing as a perfect moment?"

Olivia pouted and kept walking.

"All we ever need is us, Olivia," Natalia said, as she trailed a few steps behind. "And believe me, I love that you want this to be special, and it will be, because I'm here with you."

Olivia wasn't about to give in that easily. She stopped and threw her hands toward the heavens. "Oh, come on!" she cried.

In an instant the clouds parted, bathing the woods around them in dazzling moonlight. Natalia drew to a halt and looked up in awe, exhaling misty breath into the air, then looked back at Olivia.

Olivia could only stand there, taking it all in. Her heart hammered as the gossamer light drenched Natalia's features. "See? Perfect," she whispered.

"How did you do that?" Natalia asked, shaking her head. She shuffled closer, meeting Olivia halfway.

With a half-smirk, Olivia cocked her head upward. "I think I had help." She traced Natalia's cheek with light fingertips and smiled down at her deep, dark eyes. "I _had_ to have help," she continued with a chuckle. "Otherwise I'd never be here with you."

Natalia's breath fled her lungs in a rush, and rather than reply she simply pressed forward until their lips met. She felt Olivia's smile against her own, felt the bloom of warmth between them under a moonlit benediction.

"Okay, you were right. That was pretty perfect," Natalia said sometime later, still snugly within the circle of Olivia's arms.

"I don't know," Olivia said, arching a skeptical eyebrow. "I might need another do-over."

"Predictable," Natalia accused with a chuckle, as she leaned back in to taste her lips for the first time, again and again.


	7. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place a few days after the "doorway" scene.

In the time Olivia had known her, Natalia had never - not once ever - called in sick.

Until today, just a week after not quite getting married. A week after everything changed.

Olivia found herself at the door of the farmhouse, pacing the front porch. Even after moving out, with all the complications and trying to discern where they stood with each other, this place still felt like her home.

All of which was why she had little trouble convincing herself to intrude.

The first floor was dark, empty. There were still gaps on the walls and shelves where her own things had been, all alongside Natalia's. It made her chest ache, but she set the feeling aside to find her friend.

She heard an unusual sound as she moved quietly up the stairs. A faint, repetitive... honking?

Natalia was snoring. Olivia blinked at her as she peered into the bedroom, trying to resolve the goofy, congested noise with the disproportionate rush of tenderness it provoked. Scrunched up tissues lay scattered about the bed, and a small pharmacopeia of over-the-counter cold relievers teetered perilously on the side table. Natalia herself was flat on her back, one arm flung at an awkward angle across her body while she slept soundly.

For several seconds, Olivia fielded a silent debate in her head. Natalia was fine. Ill, certainly, but not in any life-threatening way. Olivia could sneak out, let the woman recover, and not do anything to endanger the slow re-progression of their relationship. She could call later, and make sure Natalia knew she cared, while maintaining the bounds of the propriety they'd established.

All for the sake of "normal."

With a frustrated sigh, Olivia thunked her forehead into the door jamb. She couldn't just leave. Not with the words and feelings that were so fresh between them. Not with Natalia sick and uncomfortable and making that ridiculously cute bleating noise in her sleep.

She pushed the door fully open and spent a couple minutes straightening the room. All the discarded tissues, all the empty blister packs of decongestant meds, all swept into a garbage can, all while Natalia remained quite unconscious. Finally, Olivia bent at the edge of the bed, studying her friend. One of her hands wandered over to brush dark hair out of Natalia's face. Her forehead was warm but not overly so, convincing Olivia that she didn't have a fever. After a self-indulgent moment of exploring Natalia's soft skin, Olivia retreated, ducking out of the bedroom and back down the stairs.

Thankfully, Natalia always kept her kitchen well-stocked, even when her personal life was a complete mess. It was one of the fundamental differences between them, as Olivia herself had relied a little too heavily on room service of late. She surveyed the contents of the refrigerator and got to work.

Twenty minutes later, she was humming and stirring onions as they caramelized noisily in a frying pan. She set the pan aside to attend to her cheese grater, then finally noticed the other person standing in the doorway.

"Hi," she said brightly.

Natalia squinted at her and sunk a bit deeper into her robe. "What are you doing here?" she asked with a pathetic sniffle.

"I came to check on you. And make you breakfast."

"What about work?"

"Work will wait." Olivia shrugged, and spun around bearing a glass of orange juice that she set on the table. "You're more important."

If she'd had the nerve to stop and look, she would have seen the soft regard Natalia aimed her way as she shuffled across the kitchen to sit at the table. "Thank you," Natalia said, as Olivia flashed her a grin. "I really wish I could smell whatever it is you're making."

"Oh," Olivia said, disappointed. She hadn't thought of that. "Well, I'll just have to make it again when you're feeling better."

A few minutes and a few mid-air omelette flourishes later, Olivia slid a plate full of steaming eggs in front of Natalia.

After a few hesitant pokes with her fork, Natalia carved out a bite and ate it. The flavors barely registered, but the omelette was light and inviting, exactly the right warmth for comfort.

"Told ya I can cook," Olivia said as she dropped into the next seat over with her coffee.

"Oh, I never doubted you," Natalia replied, while she attacked another piece. She smirked. "Much."

Olivia grinned around her coffee mug. "How are you feeling?"

"It's just a cold." She shrugged, and tried not to look utterly miserable.

"That bad, huh?"

Natalia slumped. "Moms don't get sick, right?"

The mom who had been sick entirely too much in the past year reached over to give Natalia's hand a squeeze. "Sometimes they do."

Holding up a speared chunk of omelette on her fork, Natalia managed a smile. "Well, I'm feeling better already."

With a nod, Olivia left her to her breakfast and set about straightening the mess she'd made in the kitchen. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Natalia flagging, her energy already depleted.

"Need more drugs? How about a nap?"

"I just got up," Natalia complained. "And drugs make me loopy." She stood, wobbling just a little as she rubbed at her eyes.

It was tempting to point out what an adorably annoying patient Natalia was, but in the comparison of temperaments that was sure to follow, Olivia knew she'd come up the loser. "Okay, so we'll sit and watch talk shows for a bit."

Natalia sighed. "Really, Olivia, I'll be fine. I'm sure you have more important things to be doing today."

"Nope," Olivia said easily. "I don't." She stepped closer, hooking a hand under Natalia's elbow. "C'mon."

After a bit of jockeying, they were seated together on the couch, nestled under a blanket. Olivia put an arm around Natalia's shoulder, gratified when the other woman only burrowed deeper into the embrace. Even as Natalia protested that she really wasn't tired, the rhythmic stroking of Olivia's hand against her hair lulled her into drowsy lassitude. She drooped against her friend little by little, eventually falling asleep curled on her side with her head propped against Olivia's thigh.

All at once, Olivia felt guilty about using Natalia's compromised state to push things. Sure, the two women had huddled together under a blanket to watch TV before. Sure, they were touchy-feely in the most mundane of times. Sure, they'd abandoned work and responsibility to look after each other. Nothing so far about this morning was truly that out of the ordinary.

But it wasn't "normal." Not today. Not after... everything.

And Natalia had so desperately wanted things to be normal.

With a sigh, Olivia gently extricated herself from under Natalia's sleeping form, and slipped a pillow into the spot where her leg had been. Natalia shifted restlessly for a moment before relaxing again and emitting that same silly snore.

Olivia bit her lip to keep from laughing, and returned to the kitchen to prove she really could cook.

* * *

When Natalia woke up some hours later, she was alone again. The house was dark, but not in the oppressively empty way it had been before. She pushed herself upright with a groan, grateful for the decreased stuffiness in her head.

On the coffee table in front of her lay her phone and a single daisy from the yard. She smiled, recognizing the Olivia shorthand she was just learning to read: _Call me when you wake up. I love you._

She sniffled and grabbed the phone, hitting the speed dial.

"Hey," came Olivia's low, burring voice after a single ring. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good, thanks. I feel a lot better." Natalia felt inexplicably shy, as she toyed with the tousled ends of her hair. "How was the rest of your day?"

"God, it was a mess. Did you hear my assistant called in sick?"

"The nerve of some people," Natalia said with a grin. "You should fire her."

"Nah," Olivia drawled. "I don't think I can live without her."

For a second, Natalia forgot to breathe, and it had nothing to do with sinus congestion. Tears sprung to her eyes, and she fought to find the right words, any words at all.

"You feel better, okay?" Olivia said softly. "Take tomorrow if you need to."

Natalia could hear her smile. "Are you kidding? And leave two days' worth of your mess to clean up? I'll be there."

"Oh good," the other woman drawled, settling in to the more familiar pattern of their banter. "Because otherwise I might just have to strangle the people in charge of that medical conference."

She knew the conference was an especially nettlesome business arrangement, neck-deep in contracts and associated lawyers. When Olivia had first tossed it on her desk, she had been sure she couldn't handle it, but now... "I'll take care of it," she declared.

"Yeah, you will," Olivia said, pride evident in every syllable. "I missed you today."

Natalia didn't bother pointing out that they'd actually spent half the day together. "So did the people running that medical conference, it sounds like," she said dryly. "Anything else fun happen?"

"Our favorite housekeeper attacked some guy with a mop. That was good."

She winced, and covered her eyes with her free hand. "I bet I get to handle that one, too."

Olivia snickered. "Oh yeah, consider that delegated. From what I can tell the guy had it coming, though."

Natalia laughed, and they spent a few minutes giggling at each other until she started coughing.

"I should let you go," Olivia said with immediate concern.

"Okay," Natalia replied. She was reluctant to lose this new, gentle rapport they'd found, but couldn't find a way to prolong the conversation. Instead she found herself wishing the cell phone reception was a little clearer so she could better hear Olivia breathing.

God. What an embarrassingly adolescent impulse. She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Olivia cleared her throat. "So, listen..."

Natalia waited, and could hear the faint sigh on the other end. She pictured Olivia rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"I wanted to apologize," Olivia continued. "I don't think I'm doing a very good job of being 'normal.'"

Considering her own desire just to hear her friend's breathing, Natalia couldn't say she'd been doing much better. "I think you're doing okay."

"Taking half a day off from work to snuggle with my girlfriend on the couch is about as far from normal as I've ever been."

"But this is the _new_ normal. _Different_ normal," Natalia replied, thoughtful and just a bit sleep-addled. "Snuggling is allowed. So are omelettes."

Olivia exhaled a surprised laugh. "And the chicken noodle soup I left in the fridge for you?"

"Ooh." Natalia perked up and shuffled into the kitchen. "Oh yeah. That's allowed too," she said as she ducked her head into the refrigerator. "You know, I'm a big fan of normal, especially when it smells this good. Oh hey - I _can_ smell it. I must be getting better."

"Must be," came the amused response.

Natalia made a face and backed out of the refrigerator, steering the conversation to less babble-inducing topics. After a while Emma stole the phone from Mommy One to wish Mommy Two a speedy recovery, and then they were back to the moment of quiet, wistful farewell. She was starting to realize that, as part of this new regime of normalcy, goodbyes really sucked.

"Okay, so..." Olivia murmured. "I really am going to let you go."

"Okay." Natalia cocked her head and smiled as the seconds dragged by and neither of them could be bothered to end the call. "Thank you... for today."

"You're welcome," came the response, sure and warm. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

After she disconnected, Natalia leaned against a nearby counter, cradling the phone to her chest and shutting her eyes. "She loves me," she said aloud, laughing to herself. Until that very moment, she'd allowed herself to doubt it, thinking she had somehow misunderstood everything they'd gone through, and everything they'd tried to tell each other. Finally, the truth shone like sunlight down on her, warming her to her toes.

She debated calling Olivia back, wanting to feel, to explain, to share. Instead she pushed away from the counter and puttered toward dinner and an early bedtime.

She couldn't wait to see what "normal" looked like tomorrow.


	8. Redeye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What should have happened after Natalia left Olivia that super-pathetic voicemail.

She stole into the bedroom as quietly as possible, sliding under the covers and scooting into the warmth to spoon against Natalia's back.

The other woman stirred in the unexpected embrace. "Olivia? What are you doing here?"

"After that message? Do you really think I'd be anywhere else?" She pressed her lips against Natalia's hair. "I took the first flight I could get."

"Of course you did," Natalia said with a gentle laugh. The knot she'd had in her stomach all day loosened as she sighed in relief. "What about Ava?"

"She's a big girl. I hired her some movers. Besides, she said she understood."

"You told her?" The "about us" part went unspoken, but Olivia knew full well what she meant.

"I didn't have to. Apparently I look... happy," Olivia said, making a face. "She did the math on her own."

Natalia twisted to look over her shoulder. "She said you look happy?"

"I might have been bouncing. A little."

Natalia grinned and felt tears well in her eyes. "I was, too."

For a moment Olivia let herself regret that she hadn't seen that. "So what happened today?"

"Oh. It was Buzz..." Natalia sighed. "He said I owed the Coopers more than committing to Frank and backing out like I did."

She felt Olivia take a deep breath. "Well, you know... Buzz is just looking out for his family. They've had a rough time recently."

"I know. But I keep wondering - why do I always have to be the one to apologize?"

Olivia stayed very still, frozen with self-recrimination for her own role in the whole mess. After a moment her instinct was to get up, to run away, to put as much distance as she could between them, as if that would somehow spare them any more pain.

Natalia didn't let her. Instead, she grabbed Olivia's hand, twining their fingers together and tucking Olivia's arm more securely around her waist. With a shaky breath, Olivia accepted the gesture and settled in a bit closer, pressing against Natalia's shoulderblades.

"I know I screwed up," Natalia admitted. "But Frank didn't help." In the warm safety of Olivia's embrace, she allowed herself to indulge in the anger over what could have kept her from this happiness. "He only heard what he wanted to hear, and he only wanted me to fit into the gap he saw in his family. That's not why you marry someone."

"He loves you," Olivia insisted, despite herself. She just couldn't bring herself to be spiteful toward the man. "He's just hurt and being a jerk about it. In his place, I'd be in a lot worse shape... and I wouldn't have anyone like Buzz looking out for me."

The sadness in her voice made Natalia's heart clench, and she felt that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach all over again as she realized how close she'd come to ruining everything. "All three of us made mistakes," she said, though her voice threatened to fail. "And we all have to own up to them." She squirmed around within the circle of Olivia's embrace until they were facing each other. "I mean, look at you. You're lying there blaming yourself right now."

Olivia looked stricken, but couldn't deny it. She fought off tears and stroked her fingers down Natalia's bare arm.

"We're all grownups here," Natalia declared. "We all made our choices. Some were just more honest than others, and it took us a while to get it all sorted out." She reached up to Olivia's face, feeling the shift under her fingertips as the other woman smiled. "But I'm done feeling bad about this, and you should be, too."

Olivia sniffled a bit. "I came here to make you feel better, not the other way around."

"You did," Natalia said with a faint laugh. "You dropped everything and flew thousands of miles just to give me a hug. That's why I love you, Olivia."

"I love you, too," Olivia whispered in response. "I'm sorry I wasn't here before."

"You're here now. That's all that matters." Natalia smiled and shifted to peer at the bedside clock. "Emma will be up in a couple hours, and she'll be so glad to see you. Think you can sleep until then?"

The initial spike of adrenaline from Natalia's message that had propelled her across the country dissipated all at once and left her suddenly, utterly drained. Olivia's eyelids drooped, and she slid effortlessly toward sleep. "Yeah," she breathed, before dropping off.

In the silence that followed, Natalia took the opportunity to gaze at her companion, watching the shadows as they fell across Olivia's face, watching the lines of stress and exhaustion drop away while she relaxed.

She'd known, when she'd called, that Olivia would come running. It was a kind of certainty she'd never felt before, and it only solidified the _rightness_ of her feelings.

"Thank God for you," she whispered. After a lingering look and one last pass of fingertips through Olivia's hair, she snuggled back into her pillow and joined Olivia in sleep.


	9. Off the Bench

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after Rafe comes home from prison and Natalia tries to do the "family" thing.

These days, the farmhouse felt like her own personal gravity well, one she could circle endlessly but never quite escape.

Which was why, long after dropping Emma at her sleepover, Olivia found herself pulling into the driveway for the second time that day. She paced slowly up the sidewalk, absolutely unsurprised to see Natalia sitting on the bench that overlooked the front yard.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," Natalia replied, favoring her with a warm, if uncertain smile.

Mindful of the extra set of ears lurking about the farmhouse these days, Olivia cast a look toward the barn. "Want to go for a walk?"

"Sure," came the answer, and a pathetically grateful look. Natalia stood, and they ambled down the path in silence.

When safely within the barn and out of sight they alternated between standing too close and not close enough, fighting desire and propriety at the same time.

"I missed you," Natalia said. She laughed at herself. "You know, because it's been _hours_ since I saw you last."

Olivia grinned. "I know what you mean. I missed you, too. How was dinner?"

"Awkward," Natalia replied, with honest frustration. "Things aren't going very well."

Once again they drew closer together, automatically seeking the comfort of proximity. Olivia tried to fight it, to ignore that irresistible pull, but she wasn't sure she'd ever stop falling toward it. With effort she took a step away, tucking her hands into her pockets and kicking at a pebble on the barn floor. "About that... I've been thinking... Maybe I shouldn't be around here, so much. For a while."

"What? Why?"

"Because you need time with your son, and you don't need me pressuring you into telling him more than he's ready to hear."

Natalia stopped to consider that, her face shifting from surprise to resolute denial. "No."

Olivia ignored the objection and kept talking. "I just think it might be best, for everybody..."

"Olivia, I said 'no.'" Natalia shook her head in disbelief. "Why do you keep doing this?"

That caught Olivia's attention. She reared a bit. "Doing what?"

"Stopping us before we even get started. You don't get to decide everything all the time," Natalia declared. Her voice shook with anger. "You don't get to dictate how this goes."

That much was clear, as the conversation was not going remotely as Olivia had expected. "I'm trying to give you space," she said, summoning anger of her own to temper her confusion.

"I don't _want_ space! I want you!" Natalia cried.

"Well, I'm really frustrated right now!" Olivia yelled back.

"You think I'm not?! I've spent the past three days wanting to bean Rafe in the head with that baseball he and Frank have been tossing around. How is that 'mentorship?' And why does he need a mentor, anyway? That _judge_ sat in that _courtroom_ and told _me_ I'm not enough of a role model for my own son. Do you know how that feels?" She lifted her hands helplessly as the words tumbled out of her mouth. "And I'm supposed to be happy right now! This is supposed to be everything I've ever wanted. But I keep wishing _you_ were here instead..." Her face crumpled as she trailed off with a faint sob.

In an instant, Olivia was crying too, and she lurched forward to enfold the other woman in her arms. Natalia clung to her blindly, pressing her open mouth against the soft skin of Olivia's neck.

"I'm a failure," Natalia gasped. "I've failed him."

"No," Olivia said firmly. "You haven't. Not even a little bit."

"He's so withdrawn, and I can't reach him, and I should be able to handle this on my own."

"Says who?"

Natalia pulled away, searching Olivia's face. "Says _you_ \- just now."

"Yeah, well, I lied," Olivia fired back, not unkindly. She reached up with gentle hands to wipe away the tears on Natalia's cheeks. "And I'm sorry. The whole 'space' thing sounded like a good idea in my head."

"I definitely don't need space, Olivia. I need your help."

She took a sharp breath, knowing exactly how much that admission cost. "Well, we're a team, right?" She tucked her fingers around Natalia's, anchoring them both. "We're in this together. For us and for our kids. Even if they don't know that, yet."

Natalia shut her eyes, letting her head loll in frustration. "And it would be so much easier if he did know, but I just don't think he's ready..."

"So we don't tell him anything," Olivia said, dismissing the worry. "We'll be discreet. I pretended I wasn't in love with you for a long time. I can do it again."

Against expectation, Natalia burst out laughing as she wiped away the last of the moisture under her eyes. "Right. Cheerleaders with pompoms would have been more discreet."

"Hey!" Olivia said with an outraged scowl. "I kept you in the dark long enough."

"Not nearly as long as you think," Natalia countered, still chuckling.

Olivia glowered, but let it go. Standing here, hand in hand with this woman she loved beyond all good sense, it was hard to feel insecure about what had come before. "Okay," she drawled. "So - ground rules. I can't tackle you in the living room and kiss you for days. For example."

"No, that would probably be bad."

She decided she wasn't imagining the wistfulness in Natalia's voice, and risked tilting a little farther toward an admission of shameless desire. "And... I can't push you up against the counter during breakfast and have my way with you."

"N-no. That's definitely out." Natalia swallowed, hard.

With a predatory grin, Olivia drifted closer, feeling their combined heat mingle in the air between them. "How about we just make out when we're alone in the barn in the middle of the night? That work for you?"

Natalia smiled and cast a speculative look at their surroundings. "That could work, yeah."

The kiss that followed was sweet and tender, and eventually they parted with a shared sigh.

"I'm here. I'm with you," Olivia said. "You don't have to do this on your own."

"Because we're a team," Natalia said, making it sound like a vow. "Even when you overreact and try to be all noble and self-sacrificing for my sake."

Olivia shrugged. "Yeah, it wasn't my best plan," she admitted. "Points for trying?"

"I suppose." She smiled and leaned forward to press her lips to Olivia's cheek, all too briefly.

They indulged in a moment of gazing goofily at each other before Olivia cocked her head toward the door. "C'mon, teammate. I'll walk you back before Rafe misses you."

In a fit of daring, they held hands all the way to the door, and floated within each other's personal space all the way to the foot of the stairs. Finally they bade each other goodnight, and Olivia watched Natalia slowly climb the stairs.

She stayed there a full minute, digging her fingers into the rail. She knew she should go. She should go back to the Beacon, count tonight as a victory, and leave well enough alone.

Eventually she heaved a sigh, ceding to gravity once more. This time the pull tugged her up the stairs, to Rafe's closed door. She let herself in softly and looked him over for a moment as he slept before aiming a stiletto heel at the edge of the bed in a nice, sharp kick.

Rafe sat up in a panic. "Jesus! What the fuck?"

"Watch your language," she barked.

"Olivia?!"

She stepped forward, and twisted her fingers into the collar of his ratty tshirt to get a good grip. "Shut up and listen, kid. You've sulked around here long enough."

"What the hell are you doing in my room?"

"You think you've had it so tough. You think you deserve understanding and pity. That's bullshit. You have your mother, which is _more_ than you deserve. She has given you everything she's ever had, for your entire life. You don't get to piss on that because you think you're having ex-con angst."

He looked up at her in utter confusion, clawing at his covers in a bid to get away. "Huh?"

"You're gonna get a job. You're gonna go to school. You're gonna make something of yourself for her sake, because she deserves better than your self-indulgent sniveling. Got it?"

"Olivia..." he breathed, half-laughing in disbelief.

"She and I will help you when you need it, but you _will_ man up and give her the respect she's earned. That starts with eating your goddamned breakfast in the morning, 'cause she loves you enough to make it. Have I made myself clear?"

He looked away, trying to summon the defiance that had gotten him past the bullies in prison. He didn't get the chance, as the grip on his collar tightened and shook him a little. "Yes, okay? Yes. You're clear," he sputtered. "Jesus."

"Good." She released her hold on his clothing and smoothed the shirt back down. She could feel his gaze on her as she stepped back to the door. "And you'd better get used to me and my daughter being around," she continued. "A lot. I'm still a rent-paying tenant of this place, and we're not going anywhere." She could see the challenge that rose in his eyes, the fire so like his mother's, and she stared it back down.

"Fine," he spat, with grudging respect.

"Then I'll see you in the morning. It's pancake day."

His mouth worked in restrained anger. "I love pancakes," he ground out at last.

"Good answer." She smiled, just a little, then slipped out of the room and closed the door behind her. Down the hall, Natalia had her head poked out of her own bedroom, watching Olivia with a mixture of awe, hope, and disbelief.

"So Rafe's all excited about pancake day," Olivia announced wryly as she stepped closer. "Mind if I bring Emma by?"

"Of course not," Natalia murmured, fighting tears.

"Great." Olivia snuck a peek over her shoulder to make sure Rafe's door was still safely closed, then lifted a hand to Natalia's cheek for a brief caress. "Good night," she whispered, before breaking contact and leaving once and for all.

She couldn't restrain a self-satisfied smirk as she let herself out and hopped back into her car. She felt lighter and more sure of herself than she had since that tearful confession in a frigid graveyard so many weeks ago.

Upon reflection, noble self-sacrifice had never really fit her properly. It rankled, making her guts itch, and she'd only worn it for Natalia's sake.

Brazen, bossy confidence, on the other hand, fit like a glove. And right now, her family - her _team_ \- needed exactly that.

She could do this. For the first time, she was sure of it. She was back in the game.

A passing glance in the rearview revealed Natalia's familiar silhouette in her bedroom window, watching her drive away.

Olivia grinned. _They_ could do this.

"Go team," she whispered, as she turned onto the dark road at the end of the drive.


	10. Swing for the Fences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy wishful thinking set in a future without a Natalia pregnancy.

Olivia eyed the sticky, ill-mixed soda syrup in the bottom of her paper cup. "Hey, you think if I bought this place, they'd serve beer? 'Beacon Field' has a great ring to it."

Natalia only looked at her sideways, which was all the answer she needed. And so she moved on, looking around the small softball stadium for something else to alleviate her boredom.

As usual, when Emma wasn't on the field, Olivia couldn't be bothered to pay any attention to the game. She managed to keep herself occupied by other means: studying her fellow parents, noticing the utter lack of interest directed at the Two Mommies together in the stands, and enjoying Natalia's willingness to get overexcited because Olivia herself couldn't.

Because of her heart, of course. Not because she found softball so dull it damn near made her eyeballs bleed.

"Hey! Get some glasses, Ump!" Natalia cried, pushing to her feet in indignation.

Olivia chuckled, directing her eyes toward the field. In his latest bid to prove to his family that he wasn't really a total jackass with a massive entitlement complex, Rafe had volunteered to be third base coach for Emma's team. While Olivia approved of his motives, his execution left something to be desired. She watched while he fired off a string of complex signals, touching his nose, his ear, and the brim of his hat in rapid succession.

"What's that one?" Olivia whispered, leaning over to Natalia as the other woman settled back down next to her.

"I think that means 'bunt,'" Natalia whispered back. "He's been practicing."

When he was done, he nodded, and the little girl at bat looked like she was ready to cry. He sighed and started again.

"He wants you to bunt!" piped a clear voice from second base. From the _other team_.

Olivia snorted in laughter as Natalia turned and buried her face in her companion's shoulder.

A couple innings later, after Emma got an RBI but was thrown out at second, Olivia cocked her head as she watched Rafe go through his routine again. "You know, I think we need signals," she said, with a speculative frown. "You and me."

"Yeah? For what?" Natalia asked.

"Well... How about for when I want to tell you that I love you, but the setting isn't really appropriate? Instead I could just call in the sign, like our third base coach, here." She held her hands out in a triumph of logic. "And then you'd know!"

Natalia squinted. "But I already know."

"I still want to tell you. A lot."

For a declaration that sweet, Natalia could play along. She shifted closer, tucking a hand into the crook of Olivia's arm. "Okay. So, something like, if you tap the side of your nose and tug twice on your ear, that means 'I love you.'"

"Right! And we could use the same system for all kinds of things," she continued with building enthusiasm. "If I tap my nose, tug on my ear, and then brush my forehead, _that_ means, 'I want takeout tonight.'"

Natalia sighed, feeling a Spencer-scheme-induced headache coming on. "There's no way I'm going to remember this stuff."

"He wants you to steal third!" yelled an annoyed voice down on the field.

"We'll work on it," Olivia promised. "All of us."

* * *

"Pop fly!" Rafe announced, as he heaved a ball high into the air.

Emma obediently ran to try to get under it, blinking away the bright sunlight. When the ball sailed well over her outstretched glove, she laughed and chased it down the hill.

From the bench on the porch, Olivia looked up from her book to check on the game, and spotted Rafe practicing his signals. She watched him for a moment, then shut her book and wandered out onto the grass. "Okay, Rafe. I've figured it out," she announced. "You _mumble_ your signs."

"Huh?" he asked, frowning back at her. "Whaddya mean?"

"You hesitate, and then you end up squishing the signs all together. That's why the girls can't figure out what you're trying to tell them." She smirked. "And I don't just mean the kids on the team."

"Hey, I do _just_ fine," he protested.

"Sure you do," she fired back. "That's why Ashlee was about to strangle you the other day."

He winced, remembering how Olivia had walked in on their argument in the Beacon's staff breakroom. "That was just a misunderstanding," he grumbled.

"Exactly. And the way to avoid misunderstandings is to be absolutely clear about what you're saying. You need to snap off the signals sharply. Like this." She flicked her hand around, touching her ear, sliding her hand down her forearm, and clapping.

"That one means 'swing away,'" called Emma, as she ran back up the hill with the ball.

"Good job, baby," Olivia called back. She grinned at Rafe. "See? Don't hurry into the next sign until you're ready." With that, she insinuated herself into their game, coaching the coach and playing with the player all at once.

Eventually the happy voices and laughter outside caught Natalia's attention, and she closed her laptop to head out front and see what was happening. The sight of the three people she loved most in the world playing together, joyful and safe in their very own yard, nearly made her burst into tears.

Instead she shut her eyes and offered a brief, utterly heartfelt prayer. _Thank you, Father, for my family._ When she opened her eyes again, Olivia was looking back at her with piercing intensity.

"So, how was that?" Rafe asked, after delivering a much-improved sign to steal. When Olivia didn't answer, he looked over his shoulder to see his stepmother quite preoccupied and gazing moon-eyed at his mom. He turned back and rolled his eyes at Emma, who giggled.

The game continued behind her as Olivia paced slowly back to the porch, pulled quite beyond her own control by the unfathomable look on Natalia's face. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey yourself," Natalia replied.

Olivia reached up and very gently tapped Natalia's nose, then slid light fingertips around to the side of her face to tug twice at her ear.

"I love you, too," Natalia breathed, just before Olivia's lips closed over her own.

It was a bare moment of pure contentment before two very different yet equally scandalized voices interrupted.

"Ma!"

"Mom!"

They broke apart with a shared laugh.

"Maybe we should take this inside," Olivia murmured.

Natalia looked past her with a bright smile and a wave to their kids before dragging Olivia into the farmhouse.

* * *

The dress had been a present, delivered on their anniversary. It was tailored and perfect and wonderful, and when Natalia tried it on, the dark blue fabric flowed over her skin in an exquisite, delicate way. Its lines were incredibly flattering, lengthening and highlighting her naturally lithe form.

"I feel... _tall_ ," she said, looking into the mirror in their bedroom. She turned to one side, admiring the fit in profile.

"Well, you shouldn't," Olivia responded dryly as she stepped behind her and dodged the elbow jabbed at her ribs. "But you _are_ absolutely gorgeous." She pressed a kiss to Natalia's shoulder, exposed under a thin strap of shimmering fabric. "And the dress ain't bad, either."

"It's beautiful," Natalia said. "Thank you."

They spent a moment gazing at each other in the mirror, both remembering a similar tableau more than a year previous.

"Hey, I've got a new sign," Olivia said, reaching to dispel the heavy memories between them.

Natalia gave her a fond look. "You know I'm terrible at remembering these things."

"But this one's important!" Olivia insisted. "It means, 'We need to find a cute guy for my assistant Adam.' Here. I'll show you."

Coaxed from the edge of melancholy over what might have been, Natalia instead let herself be carried along on the goofy, soft-hearted whim of the woman she loved.

* * *

A week later, Natalia swept into the Beacon's grand ballroom, feeling that new, perfectly-crafted dress move with her in a way that only accentuated her brimming confidence. The hotel was playing host to Springfield's annual charity ball, and for the first time since she'd arrived in town Natalia actually felt like she belonged in that room, in that dress, with those people.

Doris Wolfe sidled up, giving her a once-over. "Hell of a dress," she said by way of a greeting.

"Mayor Wolfe," Natalia replied graciously. "How are you?"

"Oh, you know. Getting plastered, pandering to my constituents, the usual," Doris said. "It's a good party," she said, lifting her drink in a toast.

They continued exchanging vague pleasantries until the mayor suddenly looked off to one side in confusion. "Is... Olivia all right?"

Natalia turned and stifled a laugh at the complex series of signs directed their way from the dark corner across the room. _You look amazing and Doris' jacket is hideous._

"She's fine."

_Have you tried the tapas?_

Doris looked skeptical. "She's not having an epileptic fit?"

_I think we need to reupholster in here._

"No, she's fine. Really."

"Mmph." Doris took a sip of her martini and cast an annoyed look between the two women. "You know, it's ridiculous to think she could have stood by and let you marry somebody else. When she looks at you, the glow is practically blinding."

"It is?" Natalia asked, immediately charmed by the notion.

Doris rolled her eyes. "And you do it right back. God. Who were you trying to kid?"

Who indeed? There was a time not so long ago that Natalia would have been horrified to know her feelings were so obvious. But now... she turned back to look at Olivia from across the room, then tapped the side of her nose and tugged twice on her ear.

The beaming grin thrown back her way left no doubt, to baseball fans or anyone else standing within a half-mile radius, exactly what that signal meant.


	11. Taking Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternative take to Natalia's disappearance.

Natalia bolted awake with a small cry, fighting against the tangle of her sheets.

"Whoa, easy, sweetheart. Are you going to be sick again?"

She stopped struggling and looked around, seeing the familiar warm tones of her bedroom. Olivia had pushed herself out of the chair near the window, and was approaching slowly.

"Okay, you might not think so, but this really is an important question," Olivia said, in the tone reserved for injured animals and woozy girlfriends. "Are you gonna be sick again?" She bent and grabbed the bucket on the floor, just in case.

"No?" Natalia whispered. Her voice was rough, unused. "What happened?"

With obvious relief, Olivia dropped the bucket and perched on the edge of the bed. "The Bauer barbecue, remember? Bad potato salad?" She smiled and reached out to smooth Natalia's hair away from her face. "You weren't feeling so hot beforehand, and then the food poisoning really knocked you for a loop. Your fever finally broke last night."

"How long?"

"Three days," Olivia answered, still running gentle fingertips across Natalia's scalp. "I think the stress of the past few weeks just finally caught up with you."

"I'm not... pregnant?"

The other woman blinked in surprise, and flicked her eyes toward Natalia's abdomen. "Um, I really doubt it."

"I thought I..." Natalia trailed off with a pained breath, and pressed her hand to her belly. "I thought..." Finally, the fog began to clear from her brain, and she realized that not much of what she thought had happened had _actually_ happened. "I thought I'd hurt you," she finished miserably.

Olivia scooted closer. "No, of course you didn't. You _scared_ me, especially when Rafe called and told me you were halfway down the driveway with a suitcase muttering about 'Mother Superior.'" She closed her eyes and visibly shook off the remembered terror of that moment. "But you didn't hurt me. We're okay. All of us. Even Father Ray."

Natalia's eyes were wide in confusion.

"Your first victim, at the barbecue. You puked all over his shoes," Olivia explained, with just a tiny hint of glee. "But c'mon - you know he had it coming."

There was a timid knock on the door before Emma peeked in, with a giant white surgical mask obscuring most of her face. "Is Natalia okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine, sweetheart," Natalia replied, with an instant smile.

"Can I come in and give you a hug?"

"Wash your hands first, Doctor Jellybean," Olivia advised, grinning when her daughter immediately ducked out to do as instructed. She met the question in Natalia's eyes with a shrug. "I kinda told her you had swine flu," she admitted. "Thought maybe it would break her of her unfortunate petting zoo habit."

Natalia reached out to deliver a light admonishing slap on her arm, chuckling when Olivia smirked back. The world was slowly righting itself under her, dispelling the vivid imaginings of a fever-addled mind. Now she could remember long hours huddled under her covers, miserably sick and shivering, able only to hear Olivia's voice calling her name, over and over, anchoring her, trying to pull her back.

A moment later, Emma bounded into the room, leaping onto the bed and smothering Natalia with a clumsy, solid embrace. Then she sat back, settling between her two moms like she'd always belonged in exactly that spot.

"So is it really you under there?" Natalia asked, reaching out with a delicate finger to tug the oversized mask down Emma's nose.

Emma giggled. "Of course it's me! We've been taking care of you."

"Well thank you for that," Natalia said. "I'm feeling lots better."

"Good! And when you're _all_ better, can we move back in? So we can be a real family again?"

Hazily, Natalia remembered it had been the first question Emma asked when they'd explained the nature of their new relationship, right before the barbecue. She and Olivia had deferred - again - and said they'd have to discuss it a bit. Now she met Olivia's gaze, and saw the same question there, too. "I think that'd be great, honey," she answered, for the benefit of both Spencers in the room. There was no mistaking the elation on Emma's face, even obscured behind that silly mask. She gratefully accepted another hug, and returned Olivia's tremulous, joyful smile.

"Ma?" called a voice from downstairs. "Olivia? Anybody?"

"Go see if Rafe needs some help with the groceries, okay, kiddo?" Olivia said. 

Emma obligingly flung herself off the bed and thumped down the stairs toward her would-be big brother. 

"He went shopping to get you clear liquids and stuff," Olivia said. "He said he wanted to make you the thing you always made him when he was sick..."

"... sugarless orange Jell-o with club soda," Natalia said with a chuckle. She fell backwards against her headboard, suddenly exhausted. "Is he okay?"

"He's okay," Olivia replied, judiciously not mentioning the occasional sullen exchange they'd had in regard to his mother's care. "We're getting there." She took a moment to fuss with the covers, using the ministrations as a wholly transparent excuse to touch Natalia, stroking her forearm and eventually settling on tangling their fingers together.

"How was the rest of the barbecue?"

"You mean, before people started spewing potato salad everywhere?" Olivia asked wryly. "Oh, it was great. Rick swore it's the last one he'll ever have."

Natalia chuckled. "But did anyone... you know, react? About us?"

"Actually, I don't think anyone was all that surprised." Olivia paused with a thoughtful scowl. "Which annoys me. I wanted to shock _somebody_."

"Of course you did." She settled into her pillows and smiled. "Maybe we could drive up to Chicago and introduce you to my mom. You'd get your shock value then."

"Oooh. I love this plan." Olivia bent and pressed a kiss to Natalia's forehead, relieved at the lack of unnatural heat pouring off her skin. "And I love you," she whispered.

"Love you too," Natalia replied, with a sleepy smile.

Unable to resist the pull between then, Olivia dipped again, this time meeting Natalia's lips in a gentle, soft kiss. They were both smiling when they parted.

"That'll be a lot nicer once I've had the chance to brush my teeth," Natalia muttered.

Olivia exhaled a faint laugh. "I bet." With one last tug to settle the blankets, she sat up and pointed at her designated post at the window. "I'll be right over there if you need anything."

Half-asleep already, Natalia could only manage a faint jerk of her head. "No. Stay."

"You sure?"

"Mm," Natalia grunted. She'd latched firmly onto Olivia's hand, clearly not wanting to let her get very far away. In a few moments, Olivia had slipped under the covers and scooted against Natalia's side, smiling as they relaxed into each other.

Hours later, when Natalia woke again in Olivia's embrace, she let herself wonder how her brain could have imagined she would have gone anywhere other than this very spot, with this very woman.

There was nowhere else she ever wanted to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
